Thursday, May 11, 2006

The painful impact of wisdom

So for the past few days I've been communicating with my friends and co-workers over e-mail, instead of just walking across and talking to them. When I do talk, I talk with a lisp. It's OH SO annoying, I can see their thought wheels go, "what's with the lisp, and what's with the pricey email communication...weirdo!" having myself been at the receiving end of pretentious people with affected lisps. {{blargh!}} So before the folks disowned me, I told them about my toothache, which was the culprit behind my weird behaviour. Went to the dentist today, and he charged me an arm to tell me all about my "impacted wisdom tooth". I could have told him that for free, the damn thing was jutting into my cheek and hurting the hell out of me. So he refers me to a surgeon who will have to do the needful, and rid me of my only probable source of wisdom, AND a good chunk of my paltry income. The friendly customer service at my health insurance tells me in a cheerful voice that the only dental they will cover is "injury to a natural, healthy tooth due to damage caused by accident". Which means I have to get into a bar-fight of sorts to make them pay for my surgery. And believe-you-me, I can be provoked into one, given the right stimulus (and the right amount of whatever the bartender is serving). However, I really don't see such an opportunity presenting itself in the near vicinity. {{option crossed off list}}

As I do all the math, I figure that a flight ticket to India would work out more cost-effective. Especially if you factor in being at home, all the TLC from mom, and that cute dentist that lived down the street. (I hope he's still cute..) But well, that's indeed a fantasy..I reckon my supervisor would personally do the needful if I brought up the issue of taking off to go home to get teeth pulled.

{{siigh}} and as I relate my woes to my sister, she tells me how selfish I'm being to get my teeth pulled out. Selfish? huh? Well, she's the mother of a teething baby these days, and reminds me how much trouble our parents go through when we're teething as infants...only to have some of those teeth pulled out later. Hah! talk about perspective. So now I've to deal with the label of being pretentious, weird, the burden of being selfish, a fat dentist's bill...and fending for my poor self with a swollen jaw and a lisp that I'm beginning to hate the sound of! grrr...!

But the silver lining is a limited amount of 7,8-didehydro-4,5a-epoxy-3-methoxy-17- methylmorphinan-6a-ol phosphate (1:1) (salt) hemihydrate that the dentist gave me to tide me over the pain..rumour has it that I can also get some nitrous oxide if I want during the surgery. Hee hee hee. I bet I'll be quite the envy of my friends when I tell them that I have some of that "good stuff"..

TLC: Tender Love and Care!
7,8-didehydro-4,5a-epoxy-3-methoxy-17- methylmorphinan-6a-ol phosphate (1:1) (salt) hemihydrate.: codeine..a morphine derivative used as a pain reliever
nitrous oxide: laughing gas, used as an use as an anesthetic in clinical dentistry and medicine.


greensatya said...

Hillarious post !! but the icing was "doing disregard to selfless hardwork of parents". Never quite viewed it from that angle.

Lot of ppl have got their wisdom tooth taken out. I kept waiting but never got one *sigh* (no wisdom for me)

And don't you love these insurance companies :P

I am off blogger said...

Will read the post first thing on Friday evening....hope you wont mind!!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

wisdom-less Satya,
>but the icing was "doing disregard to >selfless hardwork of parents"

yeah, seriously man! it's all relative. :)
and please, don't get me started about the !@#! insurance companies.

i envy you for not having any wisdom..

Deep thought misses ya! it better be first thing Friday evening, haan? j/k. hope your exams are treating you well

The Girl Who Sold The World said...'re acquiring wisdom? Yesss...good. That would mean that you'll become all oh-so-wise and serious and will probably stop fighting for gold. :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

dream on, baby, dream on. that's why i'm getting the damn source yanked out!