Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Keep in touch!

I have never been the best at keeping in regular touch with my good friends, strewn all over the world as each one went his/her way to pursue their dreams. The truth is, they often come to my mind- little things remind me of each of them in some way or the other, but I'm really guilty of not translating that thought into action and sending them a little hello or a reminder to say that they're being thought of. The irony is, I pride myself in having some really, really great friends, who've been with me since a long time, and whom I can count on even if I haven't talked to in months.

I am not sure what the reason is for this lack of initiative on my part. I have never been much of a phone person and perhaps that's part of it, but really, I know, that's a lame excuse. It takes effort to keep in touch, and I don't make that effort. That has changed today thanks to an email in my inbox from a really good friend of mine, J.

J has always been the one that initiated e-mails in our group, and woke up the dormant group, as each of us was busy and preoccupied in our own respective little worlds. When 3 weeks or more passed since I got an email from him, I began to wonder why we didn't get that "what's up folks" email from him. Today he mailed to say he had been in a serious road accident and was hospitalised for 2 weeks, and hence the silence from his end. For a long time I was quite overwhelmed with a mixture of feelings, of guilt, for never once enquiring about him in the past many weeks, worry for his state of affairs, sadness that I was not near him to help in any way, and even more sadness because I know a little about how painful it is to be away from home in a foreign land, and have to deal with hospitals and health issues, and not even tell your parents about it. And thinking of him in that situation, dealing with injuries and trauma from an accident, I just felt terrible.

I called J in his lab and it was such a relief to hear his voice, and listen to him being his usual self. After chatting with him, I made a list of my close friends I haven't been in touch with and sent them an email. I hope the effect stays. It is really sad that it took such an unfortunate incident to bring this out in me. For now, I am just happy that J is recovering from such a serious accident, and that he was nice enough to let us know inspite of the fact that none of us bothered contacting each other in the past so many weeks.

25 comments:

Harsha said...

*GOLD*

I call up all my friends most of the time. Its a good thing to do. And sometimes, I called up some old classmates and then we end up talking about school, the old times, the teachers etc and it's good to get a refresh() on your memory once in a while.

Nice post.

greensatya said...

Oh touchy post !

I hope your friend 'J' recovers soon. Wishes :)

It is good that you have friends to be remembered and you decided to remember them more ofen.

Macho Girl said...

I have been in university only for a year now and I have already lost touch with somany friends. I dunno why I always wait for them to take the initiative. Little incidents in my life do remind me of them. Maybe I shud take the initiative this time and try to get in touch with them....

Thanks for reminding me! :)

Rebellion said...

Senti post :( :|

Kya yaar TGFI.. how can ul post such touchy ones!! But a nice one though, more than the post, nice thought :)

Glad you're friends' recovering.. Hope you continue to keep touch with all. :)

Take care dear,
Aarti

Born a Libran said...

I totally understand your situation... I am not a phone person either and I dont initiate too many phone conversations... I am really bad at keeping touch too... I hope J recovers soon...

qsg said...

Great post!

I am usually the person who initiates contact - a big phone and email person, in fact a big communication person.

Hope your friend feels better soon!

Sirius Black said...

Life s beautiful simply because it gives us chances to correct our mistakes :)

Best wishes for J to get well soon :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi harsha!
that's good that you keep in touch. i need to put more effort into it now, and yes, it's always nice to catch up with friends...

satya,
thanks for the wishes yaar. i am working on the keeping in touch part now.

m.g,
yes, you should! it's really easy to let it slide by- i even have lists of friends i need to email or call since i haven't! but the list only keeps growing. :(

aarti,
haan yaar. i was quite upset and angry at myself last night. yes, i've resolved to be a better keep-in-toucher now! :)

born-a-libran,
thanks man, it's nice to know that i've company in crime. but still, i don't advocate it :) it takes a little bit of effort to write that email, or make a short call. i realised that as much as i avoid making phone calls, i quite enjoy them once i've made them :-). yes i hope J gets fully fit soon.
qsg,
good for you! i'll take a leaf out of your book, then. :). and thanks..when i read my own post now, it seems to me like one of those cheesy email fws that are sent, written in font size 10 or something, interespersed with pictures and all..urging people to write to their loved ones. but now i see the sense in the message, atleast. :)

sirius black,

:-) nicely put. thanks for the wishes, all, i am sure the positive vibes are helping J. :)

Duhita said...

Hi TGFI,

yup yup, friends all over the world too, none left at home!:( And I am not a phone person either. Emails, I'm better at but after the initial buzz of sending emails, that too dies out and I move into a state of laziness until somebody similar to your friend J starts the mass mailing going again. Thanks for reminding me to send out hellos to a bunch of ppl today:) Hope your mate gets better!

Thanu said...

I'm J kida person I send mails to friends and go the extra mile to keep in touch.

Hope J recovers soon

Andy E. said...

I'm a lot like that myself. I've been terrible at keeping in touch since the time I was in school, so that by the time I graduated from college, I didn't event try to stay in touch with friends. But you know you've got a good bunch of pals when you can just pick up the phone and call them and it doesn't matter that you haven't spoken to them for months, it feels as if you're picking up a conversation from yesterday.

Good to know your friend is recovering well.

Prashanth said...

I'm like that, too. I wouldn't say I have a *lot* of friends, but I'm really close to the ones I have. And yet, I find the whole keeping-in-touch thing difficult to do.

Perhaps it is the fact that phone and email fall woefully short of substituting for company. Perhaps it is complacence. Perhaps we are self-absorbed. Perhaps it is inevitable when time and distance play spoilsport, we being merely human. Perhaps it is a combination of all of these and more. And yet, when we finally meet that friend after oh-so-many years, it feels like nothing has changed, and it was yesterday that we bade goodbye, doesn't it?

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I understand....

The Smiling Girl said...

It feels great when we talk to our old friends again, right? I am not exactly the J kind of a person, but in our college groups, its me who starts the discussion first...:)

Aur kya chal raha hain batao... main bahut dinon se nahi aayi tere comment space pe...:)
Kisine hum donon ko mila compliment diya.. mere comment space pe.. dekh lo aake...:)

Venky said...

pagal hai tu...senti kar diya na apne readers ko...mein soch raha tha ki I ll sit down and write blog abt what all wierd things i have doen but now after reading ur post I ll have to maill all my frnds now :)

know what?? it a takes a lot of lil things to make people reflect on what they did wrong...but it takes a helluva (i know u hate short forms disclaimer :)) effort to make ppl laugh their hearts out

Gud to know that ur frnd is ok

Cheers!!!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

heyA duhita!
i've bumped into you @ the bar a few times :) J is doing better...I just chatted with him. I think he's getting concerned now about my abnormally frequent phone-calls and messages. :) he keeps asking me if everything is okay my end. lol

hi Thanu!
after reading your post i HAD to go to Bombay cafe last night and order mysore masala dosa. :) then i could sleep in peace. Good for all the J-kinda people on here, but please, right now, I could do with hearing from MY kinda people, ok???
;) j/k

andy e,
there ya go! you da man! yes, i do have that "good bunch of pals" and i hope it stays so. it's amazing how pleasantly surprised they all are to get these out-of-the-blue emails from me, and how much of a difference it makes. i recommend it. :)

prashanth,
one more bad k-i-t-er. (keep-in-toucher) :) . you said it, when you said "Perhaps it is the fact that phone and email fall woefully short of substituting for company..". that is quite true, i won't use it as my excuse, but it's how i feel, and often what stops me from picking up the phone or emailing. but i realise now that something is better than nothing, and in this sudden wave of emails i sent out, i've surprised and made so many people happy!

s.g,
yes, it does feel great. i'm going through that these days, thanks to the mails i sent out.
aur kuch nai yaar, i am dog tired now and have to go to the lab for my second shift.
maine psv ka comment padha. thats sweet of him :)

venky,
hehehehe :) you can't get out of my tag by using my post as an excuse. you can use it to buy yourself some time, tho.
thanks dude. :-) i'll let those short forms slide by. (Did you just say FRND??? eeeuuughhhhhhhhh)

Rebellion said...

Namaste madamji :P

No updates??? :(
Bohot busy ho kya???
Waitingggg 4 your next post :D

Take care,
Aarti

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi aarti!
arre nai yaar . no time at all in the week. now i need to go sleep. will post in weekend. have a good day there! :)

Rebellion said...

Righto ma'am...

Weekend's almost here ;)
See you then dear..

btw.. do you have an orkut id?

Take care,
Aarti

Rebellion said...

Btw TGFI..

You sounded dam... senti or nostalgic?!! Sab theek hai na..
Err.. or mayb you were tired???
Pata nahi.. you sounded not-so-good!

Take care dear,
Aarti :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hey aarti,
alls good re. i was just very tired, wanted to sleep, and not getting sleep. :-)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

and no, i don't do friendship on orkut. :)

Venky said...

so wot r u doin dese dayz??? seemz like v'll get along well. ur prfile seemz vry intrsting.

I am a bit shyful person initially but after knowing each other Iam absolutely friendly. Iam very helpful and honest person.... understanding, urbane, unshakable. Iam looking for a friend who is very caring and understands my views and is honest and lovely person. I look forward for ur fine friendship.

I am humble, caring person. Ome who is young at heart love to make friends and gives very much importance to life and career devlpoment. I like movies and read journals and magzines,etc.

hahaha there u go.... corny lines lifted straight from sash's..ab to orkut id dede logon ko :D

yewww I hate myself for this comment :).

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

>yewww I hate myself for this comment :).

ahem. you're not the only one either.

Janefield said...

nice post gurl! it's indeed a reflection of the times we live in. shallow jokes are funny, ranting is cool, but giving and receiving warmth is not. i do enjoy looking up old mates and keeping in touch, so am not part of your club on this one.

and now that you mention it, it mite read like the senti forwards that we all abhor, but cheesy and sappy's where we draw the line. nostalgia might seem corny on occasion but its a-ok once in a while :) and anything to do with friends is always a good thing!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

HeyA TCO,

nicely put, but i don't think it's necessarily a part of the "coolness" factor, in as much as it's the effort needed to exchange a more warm, personal message. I also think it's got a lot to do with one being quite self-absorbed. Almost shamefully so, although it's not meant to be conceitful. I don't know if i'm making sense there. but I like the reasons listed by Prashanth in the comments space. I could identify with all of those.

Sigh. but in the end, they're all excuses. I'm trying hard to shake off my association with the bad k-i-t-ers club. :-)