Monday, July 03, 2006

Today, I got chased by a duck

Need I say more?

Ok, for all those who are laughing their guts out, like those old ladies in the park were, laugh, laugh. Just remember, what goes around, comes around. Big time. Not that I'd wish such an evil thing on frail old ladies. I am glad I provided them their entertainment for the day.

Hua yeh, ki I went to the park near my place, my usual adda for thinking/dreaming/reading/walking. And starting today, for running for my life. I've been quite engrossed in the book I'm reading these days. "The Beach" (Alex Garland) - awesome book, by the way, but I'll save the review for when I'm less traumatised.

So, this book is superbly written. It makes one live through the adventures of a bunch of stoned people on a secret island in the middle of nowhere, Thailand. And if you've an imagination as vivid as mine, you can easily transpose yourself into the shoes of the author, one of the main characters. Lying down on the park bench, I was going through this almost surreal danger-to-my-life feeling, as I was reading the part where the author has a near death experience, swimming and thrashing his way back into life. Pretty intense. I shut the book, get up from the bench and begin walking around, reliving the scenes in my head. Suddenly, I wanted to be a hippie on a secret beach, doing all kinds of undercover stuff. It's always been one of my fantasies anyways, to be a part of some secret underground organisation..ah .I digress...well, blame it on the trauma.

So I'm walking, totally transported into this fantasy world, when I see two ducks around a bush. I think "oh, pretty ducks" and go on, thinking about Richard, how he saved himself from the jaws of death, his struggles, and how risky this whole thing was. Suddenly, I find one of the ducks following me. I start walking faster. I can see this huge duck conspiracy building up against me. The duck starts waddling, faster, keeping up with me. I panic. I start jogging. The duck starts its equivalent of jogging. I freak out. All I can think of is Richard, and how he didn't give up when he was almost dead, and fought back for his life with every shred of strength left in him. I scream at the duck to leave me alone, but he won't give up. I run and take refuge on top of a table. The duck jumps onto the bench, and flies up onto the table and pecks at me. SH!@# this duck means serious business, I think. I leap off the table, and see those ladies laughing at me , at a distance. They're all a part of the plan, I think. I run , run , run, choosing the path uphill, knowing that the fat duck won't be able to keep up. Stupid fat duck. I sprint away, reach my car, get into it, panting, and lock myself in.

I need to get into shape.

P.S: and I forgot to say so in my post, but one of the characters (and a really dark one at that) in the book is called Mr. Duck! Those of you that saw the movie would know

44 comments:

Sayesha said...

GOLD! :D

And oh dear! :O

I'd have advised calmly walking away, but then I read about the pecking... freaky man freaky! :O

Sayesha said...

And in the last post you'd said you wanted to indulge in bird watching! Watch kar liya na? Hahaha! :O

Ooops, sorry. :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

totally freaky. stupid ducks. they're taking over the world, i'm telling ya. while we silly human beings argue over a cup

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:-( yes, my words coming back to peck me.
i think you should make all the jokes possible and get them out of the way, before all the other regulars begin commenting.

Sayesha said...

Naah. Freddy says I'm not allowed to crack jokes.

greensatya said...

Yeah that book is one of its kind. Haven't read that book but seen the movie based on it "The Beach (2001)".

But I sympathise with you on this 'being chased by duck' incident. Next time you go, take some bread crumbs and they would love you :)

But it would have been a sight to see :P (sorry, can't stop myself, hehe)

greensatya said...

oh ho, too much of 'but' in my comment above. :(

Duhita said...

:) It happens, no worries....I won't laugh....but you just gave TGWSTW more ammo! Oh oh! And yeah the movie was nice, with a good soundtrack if I remember correctly.

Rebellion said...

LOL...

Am not laughing girl.. am not!
*keeps her hand on her mouth*

Ok, jokes apart.. it was a nice one! I was trying to visualize the whole incident. From the title I thought u might have run out of fear but it actually flew up to the table & .. tch tch.. that was freaky yaar! Its ok, I understand.. hota hai hota hai!

Tusi tension na lo.. I won't laugh, sachi :)
But no one will be able to stop Nav from laughing.. Its ok TGFI.. is dukh ki ghadi mein hum sab aapka saath denge :P:P

Dammm.. I wish I could see the scene happening in front of me :P:P

Take care,
Aarti
And no.. am not laughing, sachi :)

Klastos said...

That book sounds very entertaining. Maybe I'll read it.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sayesha,
hahahahah! we need his honour's permission, yes.

satya,
yes, they've made a movie of it too. but you should read the book. it's a page-turner in the true sense, i've come across after a long time.
I'm not going into that park "next time" for a long time to come, dude. :-)

> oh ho, too much of 'but' in my comment above. :(

hahahahaha now i'm laughing. :-)

duhita,
well, the blog being my place to vent my fears and feelings and everything..I'll take it down before tgwstw gets back from vacation.
good soundtrack eh? i'll rent it after i finish the book.

aarti,
hans le hans le. :(

klastos,
yes, i'm sure you'll enjoy it. I've been thinking of you on and off while reading it...and then remind myself that it's only fiction. but who knows what inspired it?????

i understand it gets really dark toward the end, tho'

Rebellion said...

Aawww >:D<

M seriously not laughing bacchha! Koi mujhe believe kyun nahi karta :(

I started off laughing but then I realised it wasn't just your fear but the duck was mad to chase you :P:P

Main sachi nahi hans rahi hun :|

Take care,
Aarti

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

aarti,
haan haan, kyon nai. thanks a lot. fir bologe, you were laughing at the duck, right?
main gayi gym. taaki doosri baar aur jaldi bhaag sakoon.

Macho Girl said...

that was one freaky duck! The only encounter I have had with them was when I took some left over bread crumbs to the park with me. I learnt that they eat only crumbs from regular bread loaf and not italian bread crumbs. :| Picky ducks! I get pretty scared of ANY bird that doesn't get scared of u when you try to shoo it away! :S

Born a Libran said...

To imagine u going through that is actually hilarious (though I tried not to laugh, I failed miserably)... Something that would happen in a P G Wodehouse novel... You couldnt just duck out of it... Could you?

greensatya said...

Hmm, I can't seem to remember Mr Duck in the movie. Seen the movie couple of years ago, so may be.

Rebellion said...

hehehe..
Take a chill girl :P

//"fir bologe, you were laughing at the duck, right?"
hehehahaha.. ROFL
Yaar, yeh to maine socha hi nahi.. :P

Haan haan.. main aap par nahi,
us bichari duck par hans rahi thi :P:P:P

Off to the gym?? That means you're sure ul have another such incident?? This time who'll run, cat, rat, tortoise or what?? :P:P

woww.. this is fun dear.. :P:P
Kidding haan dear, main seriously nahi hans rahi thi :)

Take care,
Aarti

Rebellion said...

Vaise ek baat kahu dear..
Don't really remember if I really laughed at your post or not but your last comment made me laugh like crrrazy :P:P
hehehehe

Janefield said...

:O Wot the duck only! :O reminds me of the scene in finding nemo...the seagulls attacking food....now THAT was SCARY!

The Smiling Girl said...

Hehe... got actually chased by a duck, buddy.. but how?? What on earth did it think when it planned to chase you?? Wanted to land up as a pathogen in your lab?:) *wonders if the terminology was right!:)*
But seriously, its something unexpected and total freaky..:)

qsg said...

Kya re, a duck made you duck for cover? Tchhah!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

m.g,
i think all those breadcrumbs are going to their head!

born_a_libran,
ha ha. i wish i could. cue- all the bad "duck" comments.

satya,
Mr. Duck was the guy who slit his wrists, and left the map for Richard. And keeps tormenting Richard after that in his dreams. I am sure that was acting on my conscience.

aarti,
tu hans le re. maine pehle statement mein hi waarning de diya, jo hasega, wo....:@
:-)

t.c.o,
:-). this was scary too! you should've seen it, ::shudder::

s.g,
arre. kidhar thi tu? abhi sab log mera mazaak udaane lage to chali aayi? :) oo that's scary. i don't think it'd get entry into my lab, everyone needs to swipe a keycard to enter, see. ;)

qsg,
arre yaar. duck it. i see you're making an appearance today, of course, after your beloved team won.

qsg said...

:D All smiles - at the rate I was getting congratulatory calls, I almost felt like I played in person! ;-) he he he

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:-) hehehehe atleast the argentinians will feel avenged.
enjoy your glory. well played. ;)

Anonymous said...

I don't believe Germany lost y'day yaar!!! Italy won, rather the shock is that Germany lost :O:O:O
No wonder Italy is a very good team but I still expected Germany to win!!!

Am sure Nav would be doing her best victory dance in Gurgaon!!!
Damm.. I need to hide myself before she's back :P

And you... Ms. TGFI... Kaan khol ke sun lo.. main nahi hasi thi mera bacha, sachi :|

Take care,
Aarti

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! *pauses for breath*...hahahahahahahahahaha.. *points at TGFI and laughs*. You got chased by a darn duck???!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha.

*TGWSTW records this day in her anti-TGFI notebook and saves this post too for future teasings*

Muhahahahahahaha.

Hahahahahahahahahaha...*points and laughs again*

Ps: I've read that book...during my boards. My mom almost tore it in rage. Muhahahaha. :P

PPS: ITALY WON!!! YEEEHA!!! Thenga! Italy jeetega Cup...dekh lena. FORZA ITALIA! :D

PPPS: *Points and laughs at TGFI again* Hahahahahahahaha...you got chased by a bloody duck!!! Hahahahahahaha...*hopes that the good ol' duck finds a hot duck-dude and has a successful career, plus loads of sweet li'l ducklings and lives upto a ripe old age and *. :D :D :D

Poor you. :P Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

aarti,
haan yaar, that was some match.

tgwstw,
tu itni jaldi aa gayi! damn. :-)
anyways, honey, the joke's old now. it was fun while lasted, but...

and you read that book during your boards? man it's un-put-down-able! how did you manage? it's making an anti-social creature out of me these days.

and ya, congrats on italy. i'm not exactly unhappy either, y'know. i know a hunk when i see one. :p

Prashanth said...

LOL :) one would think that a sitting duck in a story with real ducks would be a duck ;)

The Smiling Girl said...

Haan yaar... sab mazak kar rahe the to sochi ki thoda help karlu.. lekin ab to yeh joke waise bhi old ho chuka hain...:)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

prashanth,
:-) i was not just a sitting duck. i was a running-for-my-dear-life...duck!

s.g,
haan, abhi kuch naya daalna padega. something to duck all the bad duck jokes.

I am off blogger said...

Though it looks like I am using it too much, but have to say it again.......i had a similar experiance(in fact many similar ones, but this was the latest)........
I was in college market with my friend and there was this little stray puppy(itna chhota bhi nai thaa lekin still not an adult dog), very weak and dirty but he suddenly decided to follow me (waise i learnt it long ago that young puupies have a habit of following everybody who comes close enough).....i knew he can't do any big damage and i could have just kicked him, but somehow i didnt and started running around the tables and my friend to make him chase either my friend (or anybody else coz i knew he can't live without "chasing"), though nobody laughed at me but it would have been difficult if I had been aloneand worse if I had been with some girl!!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

oye sumit!
you're the only nice, gentleman in all my readership, that empathised with me and did not laugh. :-)

thanks man.

i don't even want to start talking about my story of being chased by a puppy when i was younger. suffice to say, i brought half the colony out with my screaming. :)) when i think back, it's hilarious.

>and worse if I had been with some girl!!
haha bas tereko yehi soojha?

greensatya said...

Hey Ipanema, didn't I empathise ? Please read my comment again.:D

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

satya,
sympathy accompanied with

>But it would have been a sight to see :P (sorry, can't stop myself, hehe)
????

hah. who sympathy bhi kya sympathy. :-)

but reading back, i see m.g was nice and understanding too. so sorry, m.g, i include you in my list. ;)

Andy E. said...

You have my sympathy. You expect ducks to be all docile and gliding on water or walking around (with what appears, atleast to me, an avuncular manner - hands tied behind their back and all). When they attack, it's gotta be scary.

In any case, I don't think people should be making quacks, I mean cracks, at your expense.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

andy e,
>You expect ducks to be all docile

exactly!!

avuncular- yes, totally fits the bill.

:-)

sheesh. i just need to put up a new post and end this party.

Sayesha said...

Update gal update! We wanna know which living organism chased you around a park today :D

Anonymous said...

Nice blog. I'll make sure that I stop by often.

I am off blogger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I am off blogger said...

Sorry dear, had to do this.......

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sayesha,
:-) there you go. the party's over all, you can stop laughing now.

anonymous,
why, thanks! do come!

SUMIT?
will gmail ya. WTF?

Raghav said...

Really ??? that happened ?? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!
must be so much fun, to watch of course ;-)
better luck with the duck next time.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi raghav!
bola na, party khatam, joke khatam. hasna band!
:-)
thanks, there will probably be no "next time" for a while to come.

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