Saturday, September 23, 2006

Crying over split milk

**UPDATE**: I am doing a lot better, people, sorry for the morose post. (quite embarrassed I am now). :) No, I didn't solve all my problems, I just went and bought a fresh can of milk and made some chai again.
It's a beautiful Sunday, tomorrow is monday, sulkfest has ended automatically.
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Sappy post warning. apologies in advance

Weekend blues are not uncommon..especially when stress levels peak or deadlines near. Other times, they descend when I have everything going for me. Perhaps just because I have all those happy moments, but I miss the ones I'd love to share them with the most.

And then I've exhausted every idea in my book- cleaning/cooking/music/going out/reading/working. Nothing appeals. Made a distress-call to a friend that never fails to cheer me up. Didn't work. But I had made my sadness so obvious, that I knew I would get more "are you okay?" calls. So I turned off the phone and threw it. Now I'm too miserable to even reach down behind the bed and retrieve it! :-)

I hate the uncertainty that lies ahead of me right now. I hate how so many decisions are linked to each other. And I hate how , if given my way, I'd follow one path, but my whole philosophy of "keeping my parents happy" is interfering with plans that should rightfully be my own. Sometimes I wonder if i'm just choosing the path of least resistance because I'm not brave enough to revolt or because I really care about not disappointing them.

I hate that all my friends have left town and gone before me! I hate that the one person who's hugs made everything go away has gone away. The one voice that set things right is no longer an option. I hate that I let myself miss them all so much, when I promised myself I wouldn't.

I hate it when all I want is my cup of tea with adrak, elaichi and milk. But the stupid can of spoilt milk has other plans and decides to ruin my cup. Right there, it was the beginning of a day going horribly wrong.

Tomorrow will be another day, and these feelings will be displaced by then, I'm sure. For now, I just needed to vent.

Thank-you for listening, no discuss!