Thursday, November 16, 2006
Another semi-productive day in the lab- I decided to close shop and go home early. I walked to the bus-stop, lost in thought. I need some sleep, I thought, I am going insane. Waiting for the bus in the cold was torture. Just as I got on the bus, the voices began. I tried to shut them out, but they wouldn't stop. They gradually got louder, more annoying. Even worse, for most I couldn't understand what they were trying to tell me. But they wouldn't go away. It's like they were yelling at me from all around. I tried to sift through the all that gibberish and could only make out a "fir se jaana" and a "hum ko" and a "shaana, shaana". Oh gawd! I thought. I wanted to stand up and scream "SHUT UP" but of course, I couldn't do that on the bus with so many people on it. I tried to close my eyes and drift off into sleep, so I could avoid the voices, but I couldn't sleep. They kept on..as if they were angry with me, as if they wanted to chide me for something. I don't know! But I couldn't stand them any more! I got off at my stop, and started walking briskly, as if that would make the voices go away. Of course, there was no running away from them. They followed me home, and as I stood at my doorstep, fumbling for my keys in my pocket, they got even louder momentarily. I rushed into my apartment and shut the door, and instantly, peace was restored. I reminded myself why I hate taking the 5:30 bus home, known as the "Chinese Express" for a reason.