Thursday, May 24, 2007


There is no such thing as "being friends" with an erstwhile romantic involvement. That is all bullshit. There are friends, and there are lovers. One can end up in love with their friend, but how the hell do you demote someone from lover to "just friends"? Yep, you end up staying in touch, partly because you care, and mostly because you want to know what is going on in the ex's life. Like how he is doing, where he is going, and also, is he seeing someone else yet? Is she fat? (Oh, actually, that's a given). Are they serious? Is he getting married??? And when that is discovered, you don't really care any more. It doesn't matter that you have gone through two and a half more romantic involvements in the meantime, or even are yourself settled with three kids and a pati parmeshwar. The curiosity remains, and once satiated, it no longer matters. From then on, it's a predictable future- either the newly-weds drive off into the romantic sunset, make babies and all of that- or things sour (because she is fat, perhaps) and they part ways. Then keeping tabs on him becomes the fat girl's headache, not yours.

So it always bothers me when I hear of amicable splits and that "we're still friends" bullshit. We need a new word for this kind of civility- I say we call it "Ex-ship".


cosmokramer said...

one can always be friends with lovers- cuz u started off being frnds. obvio you have not had such an experience.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

the post was not meant to be taken so seriously. please live up to your name a bit.
and what the hell is "obvio"?

Shek said...

it gets complicated when you have been real good friends before the relationship. Thats the reason why one should not subject his/her friendship to the failures of love.

Sometimes though, you want to stay in touch because you genuinely care. Most of the times, that feeling is not mutual.

I get the gold. Cosmokramer does not count!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Thats the reason why one should not...

love knows no should ;)

ps: go on, add another spammer to your little gang.

Shek said...

dad gum 'should' !?!?!?!?! Someone ban this word :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

dad gum? is it the vodka talking again?

Pri said...

OR like in a Karan Johar movie the fat lady has a daughter who likes to wear head bands and then fat lady dies and then hairbanded brat finds you at a summer camp where you're teaching kids basketball whilst wearing chiffon sarees and then headbandicoot tricks you into meeting her dad and then u ditch salman khan and everything goes back to the being how it always was. Kya karun haaye kuch kuch hota hain!
The end.

Shek said...

jsut didnt want to cuss at god. It is a southern thing. No vodka tonight...but I am turning into a red-neck...

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

pri, shek
omg none of y'alls comments are making sense to me. i think the answer lies in that poll :p

Keshi said...

OMG ur soo right. It's so hard to be JUST FRIENDS after a breakup. Actually there's no such thing. So Ex-Ship it is!


Pri said...

waat phaar you are having confusion? you dont watch the yindi pichaar aa?
anyway i took your "advice" [also other people have been complaining... paah!] and im going to do a poll thing about ze wonderful muzeek.

Sayesha said...

Ahahahaha! I love Pri's KKHH wala comment! Hahahahah! :D

Anonymous said...

Tune pehli baar ek acha baat bola.. :D
I want to coin this term and take copyrights - Ex-ship! :D

Anonymous said...

Lajjo, I think u r losing it slowly and becoming senile.. :P
I understood Pri's first comment.. :D

Shek said...

@Ipanema Girl
Thats my sensible comment followed by a plethora of non-sense comments (otherwise called spams).

Neihal said...

@ Pri
Sahi bola!!


point noted (what for though:P)

I like the term though.
And now what happnd to the goof up??
Bhat happnd to my choti si request.
*puppy face*
Daktarnis meri choti choti khushiya aapke haatho mein hai. :)

Sakshi said...

@@TGFi- sometimes, being friends works out.. coz the feeling just kinda withers away.
And for the rest it is ex-ship :)

And phulphil Neihal's request pliss...

Sumit Tada said...

i missed soooooooooooo much action!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
will try that this doesnt happen again :|

and btw, i am 22....kaunsi category mein aata hoon??
23-25 mein 22 included hai ?

Sumit Tada said...

and abt the previos quesns...
i did google a few times,but without any positive resulsts :(

and i dont rememer how i came to ur has been soooooo long ago,dont even remember kab aaya tha!

Sumit Tada said...

aur haan....after u shift to new place,blogging ki frequency kam to nai hogi na??
sorry for 3 comments in a row....bahut dino baad aaya na,is liye :)

Sumit Tada said...

and (sorry in advance haan) i totally agree with this post :)

Revealed said...

I'm proud to say that I have naiver maintained all this friendship bijness with exes. What an idea!! Chi chi.

Anonymous said...

I just like the term. A lot.

qsg said...

Totalli-agree with you - ex-ship - yes, sure thing! Impossible to be friends with lovers! :)

Rebellion said...

Tough one! Some imaginary stuff makes me not to agree with you but then when reality strikes, I feel you're just too right. Now I'm not sure which world I'm living in, as of now :P

LOL @ Pri. hehehe

Neihal said...

Daktarnis where are you?????

shub said...

haha I like the "Is she fat?" muhahahaha! :D
I tend to agree with Sakshi. It depends a lot on the person. If you started off as friends, you can go back to being friends, it only takes a LOT of time and distance, preferably :-)

Tachyoson said...

i cant even claim to ex'ship ... i have a state called Ex-Crush-Depp.

love the ghoulish glee at finding out the Ex is married to a stout sorts :) ....

IdeaSmith said...

Ha! I so much, so much, so much agree! Very well expressed.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

remember, you heard it here first. :)

yes, me no watch the yindi movies. looks like your comment was a hit though, so it must've been something funny you said. ;)

that music sucks :p

: \

I want to coin this term

ahem, i think i just coined it. :p but you are allowed to use it if you like. :-)

yes yes i am becoming senile. !@#!#!@#!@

I should've guessed.

goof up was a collective camera-battery failure at the apt moment. so no pics! now quit bugging me!

yeah- i agree the feelings of love can wither away, but how does one undo what they have already had?

welcome back bhai! good to see you here, and I missed you during all the celebrations. 22 is included in below 22 category. ;) blogging should continue in full force i think..

i'm proud of you! :)

glad you liked. :)

yeah baby!

it's okay to flit between the two worlds, i think. :)

idhar ich re. baddu kaam che.

yeah- i just don't know why i'd want to do it- go back to being friends - and it's still not a regular i think it deserves a separate name of its own. :-)

heyA. lol @ ex-crush-depp. its good to graduate from crush to ex-crush, i must say. :p

so it's official then, we're all calling it ex-ship, and remember to make the appropriate reference when you use it! :-)

nikhil said...

As said "EX-ship" is something too professional... Like consultant's trying to hide bitterness behind the professional words!!! Lets call it something more crude... a word which really represents the feeling of the person who has been at receiving end ;)... a lil more towards "EX-shiT"

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi nikhil!
Ex-shit. ahahahah! i like!

Shek said...

fyi...nikhil is my bestest friend.