Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Depression is coming!

I don't wanna leave home!!!
I don't wanna go home!!!!!!!!

Mummy!!! :'(

It's the longest vacation I've ever had in the past six years, and the best time I got to spend with my parents. Them moving to hyd was a blessing in disguise, I didn't run out the door every day to meet friends and shop. I had no fights with my mom arguing over where I was going, when I would be back, where I didn't want to go, etc. etc. Instead I got to spend quality time with my mom, eat and get fat(ter). AND I had no boss! It couldn't have been better.

When I was leaving bombay for the first time to go to the US for my Ph.D, I was a complete cry baby the few days leading to my flight. I would break into tears at the drop of a hat and couldn't deal with all the good bye visits and phone calls from friends. My friend K gave me a mini lecture about being composed at the airport for my mom's sake and I managed to behave. I don't talk to K anymore, but I will always be thankful for that mini-lecture, I would've been a mess otherwise. Over the years, I made two trips home. Short one month stays that were mostly hectic, and the return back to the U.S was never easy but there was always a sense of urgency to get back to my life and work in lutom.  I had also hopefully gotten stronger and better at the whole leaving home thing

Leaving lutom was pretty bad. The days leading up to my exit were crazy busy and I didn't really have time for a proper full-fledged cry. When I finally got on my one way flight out of there, I was exhausted from all the work that went into vacating apartment etc. and overwhelmed at the thought of leaving lutom and all that it meant. For the first half of the flight I sobbed uncontrollably, and for the rest of the flight, I slept, with my mouth open. I think  my co-passenger was pretty disturbed by it all. :D

Now I've a week or so before I get on one of those tearful flights again. I have been very irritable the past few days, and now I know why, my lovely holiday is coming to an end, and I am very sad. Yes, I am luckier than folks that didn't even get to go home, and I have a new life, some really nice old friends, a darling niece and an exciting project waiting for me back in the US, but I am still sad. I am glad I got to writing this post, it reminded me of K's lecture and hopefully that will ensure that I desist from any melodrama at the airport this time. :)

26 comments:

shub said...

"I think my co-passenger was pretty disturbed by it all. :D " rotfl! :D

seriously, you will be fine sweetheart! I knows!! >:D< Many tight hugs!

Rebellion said...

Hugs to you sweets >:D<

Coco Captive said...

Sleeping with ur mouth open... Shit.. I missed seeing that!! :P

And NO MELODRAMA in the airport.. please... :)

Shek said...

aah..the winds of change. It will be a roller coaster ride. You can either enjoy it or cry all the way.

Born a Libran said...

I would at it like a whole new world left for you to explore...

Pri said...

im so sorry u have to leave already. i know the feeling. but u cant help it. wherever u are ure always going to want to be someplace else and be with someone else. its super hard but be strong.
carry some kaju barfi on the flight [preferably from Tiwari Brothers if there's one in ure city] and DO NOT carry pictures or letters and anything that could make u weepy on the flight. try to sleep or read or watch a movie [preferably in a foreign language] drink? um do some scoping for cute boys, take a sleeping pill and look forward to duty free shopping on your stop over and super huge toblerone. before u know it ull be back home and in ure bed and watching ure tv and it'll be ok,
phew.

Janefield said...

will miss you babe! take care and be good at the airport, on the flight, and once you're back home! :P yes, that's a lotta instructions, pliss to be remembering.

super glad you had a lovely long holiday with all your loved ones :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

shub,
lol.
thanks for the hugs babe. hope you're dealing well with the parents leaving too.

rebellion,
thanks :)

CC,
hehehe :). yeah, no draama shaama.

shek,
yes, it's a roller coaster indeed.

libran,
true that. where's my tag?
:p

pri,
loved all your suggeshans, especially kaju barfi and toblerone. I will do that. :)

jane,
:) will try to remmember all. super super glad we met up! :)

sd said...

Hey! I guess its time to say, best of luck, to the brand new supersmart post-doc!! Take it easy.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sd,
thanks :)
where's my tag i say?

Pri said...

As requested your highness TGFI,
mr tinchur shetty will be haazir HOEing in a short while
all rise .........

appropriate royal instruments are blown

and ........... ENTER

whine and cheese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
whine and cheese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

w&c,
hello shello. what exactly is there in this book i ask?

whine and cheese said...

hajir hoon madamji......
spits paan ........
how may i be of service to you....
wink wink...
ties lungi to expose saaxy legs......

whine and cheese said...

im sorry i deleted the books comments i say.. pri thought it was lame!! the nerve of the girl!

whine and cheese said...

the books be containing the darkest secrets of clubs in bangalore.
it was stolen by the won and wonly tinchur shetty in a drunken state.

Pri said...

yes we expect quality from mr. tinchur shetty. and fool u were supposed to say "how may i service u"?

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

LOL. i think it's pretty lame that you deleted them because she thought they were lame.
:p

whine and cheese said...

i know.. its pretty lame tat i agreed to comment anything in the first place!!! LOL

Coco Captive said...

@Pri: U dont have to worry about Lajjo scoping for cute guys.. she is always on that job 24 x 7...
And there is a Tiwari Brothers here..

Lajjo, want me to buy u some Kaju Burfi? Will help u in putting on some weight.. :P

greensatya said...

Ah, the holiday ended !!!

I was kind of laughing at the thought of you crying "Mummy"

Anyway it is only the time of leaving you might feel sad, keep thinking of exciting life ahead !

Cheer up, all the best !

Shek said...

come back to the grind, Ipanema Girl. Dont leave us all behind.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

coco,
shaani. i don't need your help there, you know that.

satya,
how mean! ;)
yeah, i will focus on the future. and eat lotsa kaju barfi. hope some cute boys are there on my flight too. :p

shek,
hehe. absolutely. i will be back, cribbing and ranting, soon.

The Inquisitive Akka said...

Have a safe trip back. Am fat, fat, fat too now :( Must begin to exercise.
I hope you enjoy your post doc!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

thanks akka,
yeah, i've made plans to hit the gym with a vengeance when i'm back.