You are not a Ph.D until search queries like this that brought people to your blog earlier change to queries like this.
The next best thing to sex (after chocolate) is a one hour long whole body massage. Especially one in which the masseuse comes home, so you don' t have to bother about driving or getting there, and you can take a nice hot bath right after and curl up and go to sleep. Bliss. Pure bliss. I think I earn enough so I might make this a monthly ritual now. After all, I don't spend money on clothes, shoes, and other stuff that much- I can use this indulgence.