Monday, December 24, 2007

Heart attack: the aftermath

My cousin who lives down the street from us in hydie has two cute little daughters, aged 3 and 9. These two kids were witness to all the going-ons, phone calls, tension, etc. when my dad had his heart attack. Their latest game is as follows (I simply have to narrate it in telugu to best convey the comic image, translations in brackets).

3 y.o: (clutching her tummy and writhing on the floor, panic stricken voice) ayyo naaku heart attack vacchindi. heart attack! heart attack!!! doctor ni pilavandi!!

(Oh no, i have had a heart attack! heart attack!!! call the doctor!!)

9.y.o: (in equally harried tone) ni talakai. heart akkada kaade, ikkada!. (points to chest area)

(your head! the heart is not there, it is here!)

3.y.o: quickly changes position, clutches chest now, and repeats "ayyo naaku heart attack vachindi. heart attack! ambulance ni pilavandi!!"

oh no i've had a heart attack, call the ambulance!!!

and the 9 y.o dashes about in pretend panic, and it goes on. :)

And did I mention that our apartment got broken in a day after my dad was taken to the hospital? Now, we weren't exactly in a big hurry to tell my dad about that incident. Of course, others had other plans.

My uncle who was asked to wait in our apt the night we returned home from the hospital was waiting at the gate as we arrived.

My dad (Seeing that he had the keys to our apt) : arre, you should've waited upstairs no, why wait outside?

My uncle: he he he considering what happened, I thought its better not to panic anyone and decided to wait outside.

My dad: huh? what panic?

I give my uncle one glare

My uncle: he he he.. i mean the incident when i went to the wrong apartment instead of yours yesterday, and tried to open it with your keys, he he he..

Me: (in my mind, good save, uncle, good save)

The next day visitors start coming to see my dad. First is M uncle from downstairs

M uncle: How are you sir! blah blah and other well-wishing things.

My dad: yes yes and other affirmative things

M uncle: more conversation about this and that

My dad: more nodding

M uncle: these days anything can happen. Who would've thought someone would break into an apartment in our building!

My dad: oh? i didn't hear. which apartment got broken into?

M uncle: looks confused. probably just realised his goof up. I dash into the room from the kitchen with the tea I was making. hand it to uncle and give my well practised glare.

M uncle: oh..that only.. the watchman's house got broken into..

My dad: oh how sad. why would someone break into the poor watchman's house..

M uncle: changes topic..

Now few hours later, M uncle's very well-wishing son R shows up. R is a clueless 28 year old fellow totally absorbed in his work and is rarely ever seen around in the building. Quite absent-minded and forgetful. You get the picture.. My dad answers the door.

R: (As soon as he enters, in a booming, shocked voice)
How are you uncle? My god I was so shocked to hear ! I didn't even know you had a heart attack, uncle, I didn't even know your apartment got broken into!

My dad starts saying: not ours, the watchman's house....

R: now even more confused...aa? the watchman's house aa? in his same shocked voice..

Me: (yelling from the bedroom): R! We haven't yet told our dad about it!!!! (In my mind: what is the matter with you? is this an inherited disorder of sorts?)

Then I enter the room to do damage control. my voice has traveled before me. R looks totally crestfallen, confused, and as clueless as ever. My mom, who has no clue what has been transpiring, makes an entry and asks R if he'd like some tea.

R looks at me, scared. Perhaps not sure if he should drink tea in our house now.

My dad. oh my poor dad! He has supreme confusion written all over his face. I tell him in a few lines, yes dad, some one broke in. nothing of value got lost. don't worry. And try to dissolve the tension by laughing,

R: finally finds his tongue. starts apologising. (to me!).

My mom: brings the tea. we all have tea and crack jokes. Later after R leaves my mom and I decide its best to tell dad ourselves. So we tell him brief details. We all laugh it off and try to keep it light. R and his dad's goof ups have actually added some mirth to the whole episode.

In the evening, the 9.y.o kid comes to see my dad. as soon as she sees him, the first thing she asks him, in a conspiratorial, low voice

"mi intilo dongavadu vacchadu ta????" (It seems there was a thief in your house???")


Crime Master said...

Relatives and their conspiracies! They might not have otherwise remembered to talk about the break-in, but since your dad was unwell, and people came to ask about his health, such things invariably come up!


Most of the times, people do it unintentionally. Like, when my granny passed away, one of the elderly relatives came to the "besna" (it's a gathering to offer prayers for the departed soul, on the next day) and while everyone was praying, this gentleman, walks in casually, and pastes a celebration flyer on the wall of our house, organised by community! Such wrong timing!!

Okay, the tale is not related to your post, but the wrong timing thing reminded me of the incident, plus, the very thought that I am going to meet the same person over the weekend at yet another function, drives me crazy! :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

crime master with the scary photo,

did you meet said person? :)

Arpz said...

aiiyyooo! dongavadu vachchada? emi teeskuni velladu?

BTW, hope ur dad's fine now.

Janefield said...

HAHHAHA!!! Howlarious!!! nosey and meddling indians will never learn!!! jeez. despite all that, its still funny :))

cousin's kids are super naughty, lol!!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:o :)
yes dad's doing well, thank-you. :)

:) hilarious no? and to think they are all well-wishers. :)

Coco Captive said...

I should've met those kids.. they sound awesome! :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

they're a riot! yeah, you should go meet them sometime- just don't say that you read about them on my blog! :/