Saturday, December 22, 2007

I've come a long way.

Four and a half months into my post-doc and I've very little to show for it. First there was settling in , acquainting, learning to be patient with oneself, then came the india trip, so there was more lag, re-acquainting that's yet to happen because I brought back with me this nasty bug and have been under house arrest for the past few days. The tgfi of a few years back would be guilt-tripping herself and stressing herself out at this loss of time, fact that nothing is getting done, and worrying herself into further sickness. The only thing that prevents me from going into lab is the fact that its not really looked upon well if you show up at work hacking the daylights out of yourself. But here I am, all cool and calm about this. I am not going to lose whatever little drug-induced, coughing-fit-free sleep I am getting over how much time I have lost and how I'm really behind. I'm just going to get my rest, get well, and get back to work at a normal pace. I have even gone ahead and made my plans for new years, so what if I lost all these days? Again, the tgfi of yesterday would deny herself of all fun activities for the next several months just because she was worried about the time she lost. I have never gotten too far with that kind of thinking, and I think I've finally learned to keep things separate and desist from self-flogging because no good ever came out of it.

Yesterday things took a turn for the worse as I developed a nasty ear infection on top of everything else. I have never had one before and my heart goes out to little kids who suffer from this so often. It's the most ex-cru-tia-ting pain EVAR. So after trying all the home remedies that did not work, I took some ibuprofen and made it through the night. Last morning, I got online to find a doctor in my area, to find the number for a cab-service, etc. That's me. I could be dying but I will insist on getting on by myself. It's not something I am proud of, I promise you. So I snapped out of my thick-headed self and decided to call for help. Most people in my lab who own a car were away on holiday, so I looked through my phone book and found L - yes, my Amway friend! I called her at 7 AM. She gave me a doctor's name, came picked me up for my appointment, brought me some food to nibble on, took me to get my prescriptions filled, got me to do some groceries, and dropped me back home. The whole thing took 4 hours out of her work-day, since there was some trouble with my insurance at the pharmacy (turns out my prescription insurance is different from my medical insurance- if L wasn't there, I'd have no clue, and I'd end up paying $100 from my pocket just because I really wanted those antibiotics).

I still remember my whole wisdom tooth saga over a year ago in Lutom. When after surgery I had developed a dry socket and the pain was just effin overwhelming. Then, in lutom I had several friends I could call on, but I chose to go by myself, tears streaming down my face and jaw in one hand, driving with the other, to the dental clinic and get it checked out. The memory is very vivid.

Just one dose of antibiotics and some real serious cough syrup and I feel a lot better. I am so glad I have grown up and learned to ask for help when needed.


Anonymous said...

Awww... baby.. earache and all, is it? I had it when I was a kid!

And take a lil more of that cough syrup.. u can rest the whole night.. ;)

Sakshi said...

If I can lend an ear, just call :)
I wish I learnt the lesson to let go... I just cant. So yes, another holiday season that I will be working :(

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hehe. yeah. the cough syrup is pretty good stuff. :)

If I can lend an ear, just call :)

Good one! :) Thanks but i can barely carry out a conversation right now.
as for working through the holidays: i don't know. over years, the work i actually got done didn't justify the misery i felt. so i've decided to let it go. if you can do it happily, do it. if not, just let go! try it i say! :) take a mini trip by yourself somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Hey TGFI where are you in Philly? Am also in Philly - if you are interested in catching up, could send you an email.


neihal said...

awwww babes.


I know how that feels, have had many many sleepless nights with those terrible ear infections and nothing nothing ever worked.

and I like the new TGFI. :D

sd said...

I have lived all my life with ear infections [Basically I have kept doctors in the ENT department on their toes always]. These ear aches are terrible- and there is very little one can do. The only consolation is that they go away within a 2-3 days.....Take care ( and drink lots of water).

Glad to know you have grown up!! If I am to believe all the people who know me ..... I have a looooong way to go:)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi n!
damn. i am torn between a great opportunity to make one friend in this city and hang on to whatever shreds of anonymity i have left. :/. do you blog somewhere?

thanks dear. :) earaches suck.

that's just terrible! really! just once and i was doing so much draama. i can't imagine if this became a recurrent phenomenon in my life. you have all my sympathies.
thanks, i am trying to consume as much water in my waking hours.

La vida Loca said...

Get well soon girl!
Walmart does $4 prescription plan for commonly precribed drugs. Scope it out if you neeed meds in the future.

I am not paid t promote this of course :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

vida loca,
thanks girl. and that's good to know! thanks for the tip.

Janefield said...

lots of profound things said in this post and also in the comments section.

must make note to self. thanks for the insights! can totally relate right now.

also feeling sakshi's pain :|

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:) i am enjoying this newfound chilled-out-ness.