Friday, January 11, 2008

Dear Ex..

Because I can never tell you all this to your face. And even if I did, I doubt you'd understand.

Do you ever think of me? At all? I have supposedly moved on too, but you're always on my mind. I am guilty of all those silly things estranged lovers do. I e-stalk you. I run searches of your name everyday, and go on read and devour everything that comes up against it. Searching for clues in there. Reveling in some news that I saw coming. Taking pride in the places you're going. I spend time thinking about you, about how things were, how things could have been..how they will be... And of course, I compare what I have now with what we had then. Will we ever cross paths again? I'll be honest, a small part of me has not entirely given up on the idea. The decision to move so far away, to distance myself from you was entirely mine. Of course it was great while it lasted. We had our ups and downs, our highs and lows, and finally it was time to split ways. Still, every once a while, I can't help lose myself to the nostalgia of the past, the excitement, the new-nesss of our relationship, the fun in the discoveries, the fun in the "firsts". It was all so heady. The very mention of your name still makes my face light up. The other day I happened to be near the convention center, and guess what? Apparently it was the a.t.c.d. meeting 2008! I had no clue! It was our meeting! Remember? So I peeked in from outside, and caught a glimpse of what looked like you, in green. Green always brought out the best in you. It was a full auditorium, and a talk was in progress. But I couldn't tear myself away. I hung around, outside, listening intently. Staring at you, in spite of myself. Until L pulled me away. "You've moved on!" she chided me, as she saw that look in my eyes. I loitered around some more, posters with your name on them catching my eye automatically. Sigh. You haven't changed that much. But even I can now see you in a different light. It's amazing how a little distance puts so much perspective.

This is not a misery-laden i-miss-you sob story. It's more of a i-think-of-you-fondly-and-well-i-still-am-curious-about-you confession. Ex of course, refers to the little obscure parasite I studied for five years in grad school, before I made the move to the big bad world of mice and men. Sigh.

22 comments:

Sakshi said...

Hehehehe. Loved it :)
Made my day as I am stuck in the bleedy lab late once again :(

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sakshi,
knew you'd appreciate it. :p

sympathies for your friday night obligation. :p

neihal said...

hmph!

morning morning I am reading and thinking 'where is this going' only to end up at parasite love.

double hmph!!!!

Crime Master said...

Aww, that is so touching!!

I'm sure if your ex googles up your name someday - daaktarni lajjo sahiba, and comes to your blog, even he will be touched! :P

ferret said...

i've nevah evah heard somebody call their love a parasite,, imagine, ooh! my sweetheart, my parasite!!!! (although you can call an ex that :P)

Born a Libran said...

Nicely written...

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Neihal,
khi khi khi khi. :p

crime master,
lol! :)

ferret,
hahahaha! good one!

libran,
direct dil se likhela hai bhai.

Sanyukta said...

:D cool. loved this. if only that little glob of living matter knew it is being featured on your blog in a special dedicated post :)

to your 'ex' : you lucky, lucky insect! :P
[alrite, i know this ain't perhaps taxonomically correct, (i'm a biology student too), but somehow, the phrase "you lucky, lucky nematode/helminth !" doesn't seem to create that much impact. :D]

sd said...

Take care that your "current" does not read this rather affectionate post about your "ex". He will turn green (can he?) with envy!

Sakshi said...

Hehhehee. Read this again and then saw your SOTD is green eyes.
Gave a whole new meaning to this fascination you have with green :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

@ sanyukta,
hehe! little glob indeed. :) your comment in my gmail box is attracting all kinds of creepy crawly ads now! :)

sd,
HA HA HA! Indeed, my current can turn green and it would not be a good thing, at all! I must be careful. :)

Sakshi,
LOL! That's hilarious! i didn't catch that myself! must change sotd soon! :)

La vida Loca said...

Awwww!! and what an anti climax

Janefield said...

WTF? nice try though :)

Shripriya said...

LOL!!!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

hehee everyone does that eh? esp the estalking bit

Sudarshan said...

Got here through Desipundit.
Been through all this. Could I recommend a song that's guaranteed to have you misty eyed : 'Did she mention my name?', by Gordon Lightfoot. Get it somehow, listen to it.

Anonymous said...

lovely writing!
- chandni
http://chandni.wordpress.com

Rads said...

Awesome , as always !

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

vida loca, janefield, shripriya,
*smiles coyly*

hi cynic in wonderland!
hehehe! yea yea, the e-stalking bit is common. ;)

hello sudarshan,
will check out the song. thanks.

why do i get the feeling you didn't read through the end of the post? ;)

chandni, rads,
thanks girls :)

Jam said...

Eeeyuck,

Being a veggie myself, and an accountant/MBA type at that too, I found this post disgusting.

Just kidding, loved the way you brought out the nuances in your relationship with your Ex, and loved the way you ended the post.

Cheers........Jam

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hi jam!
hehehe. :) if it helps, i'm a veggie too.

Didelphinus said...

Gaaaah, ok, I'll post comment. I've been randomly going through your blog for a while now and I can't help at this one - even if it was from long ago (relatively) - it's brilliant!