When happy times remind of you of not-so-happy memories it gets frustrating. If one could learn to live in the present, life would be a lot simpler.
It's hard to keep up with changing equations. To deal with the fact that someone who was once your to-go for everything, someone who was often the only one who really ever got you..is now totally off-limits. Its not easy. You now have to be satisfied with the rare occasions they choose to reach out to you, and expect no more than that. The feeling of desperation with which you then treasure those few chances is even worse.
I've done some foolish things. But I don't understand why I am reminded of all of them at this instant, all at once. It gets a bit much to take. ;)