Friday, February 08, 2008

Putting yourself first

Disclaimer: no parasites have been harmed in this letter. :-)

Dearest A,
You are going to hate me for this, but I am going to have to do it anyway. You thought you would never forget, but it seems to me that you choose to, at least sometimes. And for those times, I want to remind you. Remind you of all the hurt, the disappointments, the broken promises that once were. All the times you felt you were in control, but really weren't. All the warning bells you chose to ignore in favour of the sounds you wanted to hear. The times you thought you were very clear about where things stood, about what you wanted, but deep down, you wanted that much more. That which you knew you wouldn't get. All those conflicts you faced about how much you wanted to give and how much you were allowed to take. The feeling of being cheated, and not even being allowed to feel that way. The lines drawn by your sensible self got blurred before you knew it. And it was always the wrong place, wrong time, wrong person. You were left nursing the hurt. You always shook the dust off and moved on, but you know it was never easy. They say that we are all adults capable of being responsible for our decisions but I can't help wanting to tell you this. You are less fragile now, I am sure you can take any blow life throws at you. But I don't think you have to. And may be you're right, everyone deserves a second chance. But I wish you'd say that about yourself first.

For the first time ever I wish you read this blog.


aequo animo said...

Really!!? ;)
Very well written though!

ferret said...

phew! am i glad you are not saying all this to me,, b'coz i din't get a word of what you were trying to say!!!
and pls tell me what starts with c and has 9 letters,, i can't think anymore than i already have. i'll make a green apple martini for you, promise!!

Drenched said...

It seems as if A really needs to read this...sad that it's not possible.
This reminds me of Charlie Brown's words: "A lot of great letters never get mailed."

qsg said...

Wow...very well said tgfi... I think a lot of us women need to read this and tell ourselves this...

//And may be you're right, everyone deserves a second chance. But I wish you'd say that about yourself first.

Great stuff!