Sunday, April 20, 2008

30 min incubation notes #1

W.O.M.M got boring. I needed a new title. So this one refers to posts written while waiting for little tubes of cell extracts and enzyme cocktails to do their thing at 37 degrees C. [Don't tell me I can read a paper in that much time or organise my lab notebook. Don't.]

I haven't blogged in a while. Work is flying out of control. There is absolutely no discipline in my life and I really need to get a handle on that, otherwise this is not going to fly. But this rant has also gotten old and boring. The good thing is I am still making it to work early morning. So that is a start.

I also had a few internet-free days at home (bloody verizon) and I very much enjoyed it: not dealing with those dolts, but this extra free time at home that was not sucked up by the www. Next step in self-discipline is to try and have some "pretend-network-down" days when I come home from work.

I had an out and out girls weekend with two close friends from my high school days. Girl talk, good food, shopping, giggling and a spontaneous trip to Atlantic city and seeing Asha Bhonsle who happened to be performing there the same day! The concert was fun, although the crowd was pretty dull.

I have never been the biggest fan of shopping: spending hours inside an air-conditioned building going from one brand name store to another is not my idea of fun. But doing it with girlfriends occasionally can be quite enjoyable. And the outlet malls are more fun than a single mall building because you at least get to walk outside some, between stores. :p And new clothes (and shoes) are always fun! :)

My need for "my space" sometimes bothers me..even if I know that this is natural after having lived on my own for seven years now. I have mentioned this earlier too, and it was nice to see many agreements in the commentspace. I was never like this ..have always been a people person and this slight impatience that wears me down in company is relatively new. Even amongst people that I am very close to and can effortlessly have a good time with, I can only take so much. The same extent of joy that I feel when friends first arrive is felt soon after they leave and the apartment is silent and empty again. The excitement with which I get on the train to go visit my sister or a new-found friend in the city lasts pretty long, but there is an equally strong happy feeling of anticipation on the train ride back to my apartment. This after having a whale of time with the visiting friends or the people I am visiting. And I don't remember feeling like this a year ago...

The fun weekend induced-high seems to be crashing right now. Sunday evening sadness is setting in, for some reason. Small nagging thoughts bothering me. I know exactly what I need to do to put somethings to rest, I just don't do it: sometimes because I am trying to fool myself into thinking that I don't care or it doesn't matter. When clearly it does, as it sits there, gnawing at the back of my mind. Other times I guess I'm just scared/lazy/really don't care. Whatever it is, I wish I'd just deal with it and move on.

I am going to start learning portuguese. The word of the day is saudade. Lovely word, no?

Time up.

30.M.I.N sounds way cooler than W.O.M.M.

4 comments:

Sakshi said...

Heh. You should do longer incubations!

ferret said...

what is the english word for saudade, will come in handy :)

tgfi said...

ferret,
apparently there is no english equivalent. "yearning" comes close.

Ms Taggart said...

Regarding the space thingy.. this is on my mind too off late... And I am increasingly getting worried that I am growing anti-social by the day..
Not anti-social exactly but the feeling which makes me yearn for home even if I am away for just the weekend. And the intolerance towards certain set of people...
Makes me think if I am maturing as an adult or actually going back in time and forgetting the basic nature called compromise!