Thursday, May 22, 2008

Where it went?

I have lost the drive. It is the result of too many things to do, too much going wrong, and an "i don't know where to start" kind of overwhelm. I have stepped back, taken stock. But even having figured out where to start, I don't feel like starting.

I wish I had a choice. 

I wish I realised I don't. For real.

Sometimes when things don't go the way you want, you let it all go, till you hit rock bottom, and clamber your way up from there, when you know it can't get worse. 

I am beginning to get quite comfy in this rock bottom place.  

What do I want? Sochna padega.




8 comments:

Sanyukta said...

Whew. Same problem :( we'll tell each other if we find a solution, yeah?
Till then, take care. :)

P said...

Me too in the same place..specially with writing my dissertation..I am too comfy in the rock bottom place and don't even feel like getting out of there :(

sd said...

Socho mat. Bahut sochti ho :P ( I know this is easier said then done - many days I am plagued with self-doubt, questions about whether I am at the right place, doing the right thing etc...)

Sab theek hoga. Hang in there.

Sakshi said...

Damn. I know how you feel. I have been wallowing in the bottom of the dark abyss.
But I have taken stock and realized I need a change of course, a steer in a different direction. But yours is like the fifth PD case I am seeing. I wonder if the six years of intense pressure drains us of our drive?

tgfi said...

sanyukta, p, sakshi,
OMG all of you. there isn't that much room down here. move over. shoo. get out. :p

sd,
haan..i am trying to keep away from the "where am i what am i doing" path because i know thats one of no answers for now...i guess yeah. will hang. thanks

sakshi,
i don't know. not sure. its not like all 6 years of grad school were crazy intense..at least not for me. i know its a phase, but its much to recurrent these days. part of me needs to grow up and simply accept that life is tougher now, thats the way it is.

sqrlnt said...

This is EXACTLY what I am going through.. I am at the end of my PhD and I still dont see that glorifies light at the end of the tunnel...everyone seems to be graduating left right and center and I am stuck here. I think I need to get out of this nice comfy rock botto, and make that fast..

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sqrlnt,
the yet-to-graduate rock bottom is the smelliest, i've been there too. if it helps, exits from all future rock bottoms will be a lot quicker and swifter. :)

best of luck. the light at the end of the tunnel is there. even if it is short-lived.

Sanyukta said...

@TGFI:

//there isn't that much room down here. move over. shoo. get out. :p

Don't bother, love. We all have our personal rock bottoms : |