Thursday, May 01, 2008

Yes I can.

From misery emerges a small ray of hope. I am far from done with two tasks that have been giving me nightmares and my self-imposed deadlines are slowly morphing into the real deadlines.

Thats when I remind myself of all the times I thought I couldn't do it, I felt defeated, I hated myself, I hid from people, wondered why I picked this field, wallowed in misery. But the sooner I shook it off, overcame my fears and got back on track, the closer I got to finishing. And ultimately did finish. The paper, the proposal, the dissertation, the experiment..whatever it was.

The truth remains: I don't have a frikkin' choice. Sometimes I need to detach myself from the project, stop looking at it as a personal battle of sorts and simply think of it as "This is what I'm paid to do, I better crack it, and do a good job of it!". And that is all there is to it. No dramas.

So what's another painful and seemingly insurmountable challenge, eh? I can do this!

Its funny how sleep comes so easy when I'm stressed. It's my little escape zone. While I have problems falling asleep on regular days, at times like these, its hard to keep my eyes open. I plan for a short nap, which turns into a full fledged 2 hour long snorefest. Then I wake up and panic. Rinse and repeat. I remember doing this a lot when I was younger too. I'd set the alarm for some ungodly hour in the hope of waking up and studying on the day of the exam. I'd miss the alarms and wake up with only a hour left to go take the exam. My mom and sister always found me sitting on the bed, wailing that I had missed the alarm and had so much left to study, instead of bucking up and making best use of whatever little time there was left. So this isn't new to me either. :)


sd said...

Good post TGFI! I do not want to sound all preachy but, remember - When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

When I am on a `slippery slope' with self imposed pressure etc.... this is what I try to keep in mind!

ferret said...

for me, sleep comes, anytime, stress, no stress, work, no work, day, night, morning whatever. i am suffering from hypersomnia! actually thats not suffering from, thats blessed with. but i still do the night outs when faced with such situations as you are in now (or when therez a party :P),, and when its done with its so good to look back upon.

i thought we had vetoed wv out :|


Drenched said...

Yeh saali wv kahan se aa gayi re?!
Anyway, very inspiring post. I need to read more such gyaan to keep my rails from going off the track.
As for the snorefest, hahahahahaha. Teri umar ho gayi hai na? :D

It's true about sleep being the escape on bad days though. I used to sleep like a murdered cricket coach in Paris with 297429752759 responsibilities and tensions but look at me here, sitting online at 4:30 and reading blogs while I should be in bed. :p

aequo animo said...

You are spending way too much time being alone..get out and get some friends.. get some physical activity too.. make sure that you work just 8 hrs a day.. that will get lots of things done..(in short, Get a Life!! )

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

a a
i've been doing the go out with friends, go to gym now more than ever before (since i moved here). However when deadline time strikes and i've a shitload left to do, i tend to shut myself off. its a vicious cycle, one that only a healthy disciplined routine - like an 8 hr work day- can help break, i guess. :/

aequo animo said...

:) Just remember that the more workload you get the more important it becomes to take breaks with non-work friends( at least work friends ). Cut down on coffee too ;)
Good luck! ( And don't use that contraption often :D:D hehe)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:) i agree. advice is taken, a a. :)

And don't use that contraption often :D:D hehe


Tachyoson said...

deadlines exist to be unsurmountable. getting a brainmelt trying to meet it only means you get even MORE unreasonable deadlines the next time around. and so on till you get to the point of your superiors telling you "you have to do everything with nothing, because you've managed to do so much with so little!".

P said...

I feel like I'm reading about myself. Very inspiring. Now I am going to stop reading blogs and finish preparing that presentation :)

Sayesha said...

My do paise.

Hit the gym, and while you work out, list and prioritise in your head all the tasks to be done after the gymming. Keep the list reasonable and don't kill yourself if you can't finish all the tasks - at least you worked out! Great way to avoid guilt trips about unfinished work and unproductive phases. :)

Anonymous said...

I think everyone arrives at this phase, sooner or later.. its just life, if you ask me!
So no tips... (I need them, in fact!)

But then, that snoring thingy.. who doesnt do it! I remember I would wake up all night and finish off most of the thing, and leave just 2-3 important topics to read in the morning, only to realize that I wake up always just half an hr before I have to leave.. and yes, I end up cribbing at the end... :)