In dizzying circles. We go through all the motions over and over again. It would be so much easier to say "Aah. f@#$ it. Shit happens. We all screw up" and move on. But no. There's a part that doesn't want to let go of the image that was built. There's another part that is unwilling to accept the screw up. And there's the voice that keeps calling it all, asking you how you can go on, pretending its all okay? And in all this mess one can no longer separate what was from what wasn't, what could've been from what should've been.
It's only as effed up as you want it to be.