I have been terribly unmotivated at work past few weeks. I know some of it is because of the bloody paper from my ph.d work that hasn't gone out yet. It's sticking like a thorn in my side and yet I can't seem to push it past the finishing line. So close, yet so far. It's getting exponentially harder each day.
My current work is also not reaping any interesting results. I have procrastinated on some experiments so much that sometimes I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start with them. I have two projects, both super cool and interesting and do-able but both slow. Painfully slow. Frustrating. And currently, both failing miserably and hence off-putting.
All of this makes me a generally unhappy person. I've taken time off, I've done fun stuff, I've gone out and met friends..but there's an underlying sadness because work is not going the way I'd like it to. I've realised that my work pretty much defines me as a person, that is not going to change however much I fight it or ignore it. So I just need to go with it. I also realised recently I have it so much better than a lot of people. I have so much to be happy about, excited about and be proud about, professionally and personally. I need to stop dwelling on the mistakes, the "impossible tasks" and the lofty goals. I need to start small, start, chug along and I know I'll get there. Stop beating myself up, stop magnifying small mistakes into huge crimes. Trying to constantly aim for the stars while refusing to get out of the trenches hasn't ever worked, has it? I should know.
The goal for today is just to get through my very do-able to do list. Nothing grand. Small routine tasks to take my experiments forth. Best of luck to me.