The first comment to a blog post (not counting inane ones like "gold!" ) is always the most exciting to me, for some reason.
I have discovered I have this compulsion. Of taking a seemingly empty tube of face wash or toothpaste or any such thing..and squeezing out at least 5 more uses from it. So what looks like a flat empty tube that needs to be thrown in the trash can to most people calls out to me like no other. And I can't rest till I get that last bit of lotion out of the inner sides of the tube. Koi ilaaj hai iska?
And while we're at it, I cannot stand it when people squeeze the middle of the tube of toothpaste either. Why would anyone do that? Why???
Recursive paranoia: like that bungee jump ..I keep coming to the same spot and then freak out, unable to let go any more. After a point every small thing sets off warning bells, instead of being simply enjoyed. Unlike the bungee jump, I'm not that sure I even want it. A small part of me is curious about how it will be if I take the leap, a small part frustrated at my freezing up. Rest is all clouded by all encompassing fear.
Talking to m, the guy who probably taught me more about commitment/relationship-phobia than I ever knew myself, and exposed me to the ugly face of this has actually helped. I told him how much it freaked me out that I am now starting to sound like him. :) Most people wouldn't take that too kindly. Luckily m understands. And presents a great case in favour of letting go. Coming from him, i might even buy it. But it is left to me to finally make the leap.