Friday, August 29, 2008

Tagged

I got tagged by a chirpy paaro. :)

I am supposed to list 6 unspectacular quirks. Here goes

1) When I get really overwhelmed by emotion, I have been known to faint. :)

2) I talk to myself aloud.

3) I get this great feeling of accomplishment when I beat others to reach a spot first...like when we're all walking in a group to get someplace, or crossing the road...or taking a bus. (must get that window seat!) Most of the times nobody else is even aware that there is a competition of sorts going on, until I scream out "First!".

4) If I start eating a bar of chocolate I have to finish it. Never heard of saving some for later.

5) I am extremely giggly. And loudly so.

6) I have to fold and put away laundry as SOON as it comes out of the dryer. I hate doing laundry.

Bonus 7) I am extremely argumentative. Most times I persist just to stretch the debate, and its largely sprinkled with a healthy dose of (my quirky) humour. If the other person doesn't see the fun in it, it gets pointless.

Thanks chirpy paaro, for tagging me. (Nobody does, these days..(sad sigh) ;) ) I tag anyone who wants to take this up, its been going around for a while.

No title

The answers I am trying to find everywhere else are all in my head. I think I'm a bit scared of looking in there. Also there's way too much stuff to go through before I get to them, and I don' t have the patience for that.

Nobody else can be responsible for ruining things for you. Its your own choice.

Things are only as complicated as we make them out to be, right? Got to remember that.

The long weekend is here! I am not going to do any work, or even intend/plan on any!.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Note to self

(I have no idea anymore if I'm taking a break to blog, breaking the blog break, or whatever the hell) :p

Stop wasting time worrying over what never was, and what never will be. Do you realise the futility of the exercise? Really! There are several, much better ways to kill time.

Dear Librarian

I like that you are so friendly and helpful and always approachable. But have you considered that you're a tad too chatty? I mean, for a librarian..in a library! Shush already!

Can you please tone it down a notch?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cool

Didn't realize that filling some of those annoying captchas was for a cause. Methinks I need to bring back word verification on this blog then. ;)

Stressed

My mom suffers from a chronic skin ailment. That surfaces in the worst possible ways when she is stressed out or irritated...causing her to itch uncontrollably. I remember all the fights we had..the shouting matches and arguments finally giving way to the sound of my mom's nails grating against her skin. It was so disturbing, the fights would automatically stop and leave me feeling horribly guilty for bringing it on.

I've inherited the exact same response to stress. Today was the last straw in a string of unhappy days. As I sat down, scratching away at my red skin, the same sound and the same skin reaction as my mom- I was reminded of all those scenes at home...the exact issues which were the bone of contention between my mom and me came back to my head. I reminded myself so much of her at this instant, except that my itching bouts are not even brought on by a bratty daughter...just me.

Ah well. Life hai, fight hai. This too shall pass and all that jazz. The itching has finally stopped and I'm going to sleep..tomorrow is another fight.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

For your listening pleasure

I just rediscovered a bunch of cds I had "lost" when I moved. It's the happiest feeling ever in the midst of all other misery in my life these days. Amongst them are two nice desi/part-desi bands, have been around a while. Do check out (if you haven't already)

The Unseen Guest

From their page
They manage to incorporate Western music with traditional Indian instruments in a way that makes it genuinely new, avoiding patchouli-scented cliché or Bollywood bombast.

and

Thermal And A Quarter

They like to be called TAAQ if you must, not T.a.a.Q. Some more trivia on them from their page:
"9. Thermal And A Quarter is perhaps the only rock band in the world that has not written a single song with the word 'baby' in it"

:)

P.S: (still on blog-break, came up for some air)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

thought of the day

(still on blog-break, came up for some air)

What is worse than shirking and avoiding a task? Actively "not doing" it. Sitting at it for hours on end and "not doing" it. or anything else. The inertia becomes all-consuming and a very hard to break out of cycle. And the damage slowly builds up and accumulates into really bad, irreversible repercussions.

I hope I learned something out of all this.
Sigh.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Break interrupted for public service announcement

If your night-time minutes on cellphone start at 9 pm, and you make a call at 8:55 pm lasting for over 2 hours, all of it will be billed to your daytime minutes and you will get a whopping bill for overage.

Just fyi, next time you're slightly tipsy and count on the clock in your house thats 5 min fast and make a long, giggly, gossipy phone call.

b!@#$%DS AT&T

At least the call was so much fun..just sucks that two people are now paying for it. :/

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Short break

This blog is on a break. The blogger much less so. brb

Meanwhile audience question: If you were not a [fill current occupation here] what would you be?

If I were not a scientist, I'd be a baby-sitter or involved in early childhood education. I think little kids are most fascinating and unlimited sources of joy.

Or I might have been a union leader of some kind.

You?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

On Coworkers

My colleagues at work are great company for most- very social, great sense of humour, and all get along well. So we do beer nights and movie nights and all of that goes very well. I am enjoying it because I was in a one-person lab for most of grad-school so this is awesome. But I know for sure that I will never get into close friendships with any of them. Like most big groups, there's a significant amount of back-biting and bitching here, something I just don't have the stomach for. So while they are super-nice to you on your face, the minute one person in the mix is missing s/he becomes the subject of conversation and ridicule. It's not like that's all they do, but they do it a lot. They recycle the same nasty jokes about a person, and when the subject of their criticism is back, suddenly its all sugary sweetness. I thought I had left behind this kind of behaviour in high school. These people here I'm talking about are either grad students or post-docs. It disgusts me every time I see it, and of course the thought does cross my mind as to what they discuss about me when I'm missing. I don't really care though.

I have dealt with it mostly by resorting to plugging in my earphones and going back to work when this begins. Or just nodding and smiling. A few times I have called the person out on it. Like when my bay mate went into bitching mode about xyz "You know I really like xyz and she's a great friend and very smart but she is slacking at her job and it affects the rest of us.." I told my baymate that if I were a good friend I'd rather be told in the face that I was not doing something right. My bay mate did not take that well at all, as I anticipated but I was getting sick of her bitching. I have also broken away a bit and made friends with people from neighbouring labs to go to lunch or chat with. That does help to keep it healthy.

Sometimes the sheer superficiality of their groupisms, affections, friendships and congeniality irritates the hell out of me. Other times I feel that I need to stop being so uptight about it and just accept it as a part of group dynamics. To some extent gossip is healthy and natural, and I guess we all need to vent and bitch. But the two-faced-ness of it is a bit much for me to take. Eventually I think I'll get thick-skinned to it, its already bothering me a lot less now.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Note to self

Trust your gut instinct. It has always worked for you. And you have always regretted the times you did not trust it.


People lie. All the time. through their teeth. And people are also very capable of coming up with explanations to explain away every lie. Not. worth. anything.

Desist from painting everyone with a wide brush. It's most easy to give in to, but you know it doesn't paint the correct picture.

It's never too late to admit that you were stupid/foolish/got taken for a ride. And no one is infallible, so its ok if you did. The important thing is to stop denying it, be able to face it and remember the lessons you learned from it.

Sometimes I can't stop wondering Why? Why me? How me? But when I step back and take it all in, it just makes me laugh. :)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

On (writing) buddies

C is one of my close friends from grad school and our lives are running on amazingly parallel tracks right now, both in and out of lab. So we are supposed to be nagging each other on our writing and help finish up our respective papers...today I call C to get a status report as we hadn't touched base in a few days. I have in front of me our shared google document where we are listing goals for the day, etc. I am in full serious mode and this is how the conversation goes as soon as I call:

Me: C, kya haal? Kidhar tak pahuncha paper?
C: Tgfi, paper shaper to koi ho nahin raha, lekin lagta hai ladka phans gaya hai.

I think thats mighty productive. :-)

Friday, August 01, 2008

W.O.M.M. #27

The first comment to a blog post (not counting inane ones like "gold!" ) is always the most exciting to me, for some reason.

I have discovered I have this compulsion. Of taking a seemingly empty tube of face wash or toothpaste or any such thing..and squeezing out at least 5 more uses from it. So what looks like a flat empty tube that needs to be thrown in the trash can to most people calls out to me like no other. And I can't rest till I get that last bit of lotion out of the inner sides of the tube. Koi ilaaj hai iska?

And while we're at it, I cannot stand it when people squeeze the middle of the tube of toothpaste either. Why would anyone do that? Why???

-----

Recursive paranoia: like that bungee jump ..I keep coming to the same spot and then freak out, unable to let go any more. After a point every small thing sets off warning bells, instead of being simply enjoyed. Unlike the bungee jump, I'm not that sure I even want it. A small part of me is curious about how it will be if I take the leap, a small part frustrated at my freezing up. Rest is all clouded by all encompassing fear.

Talking to m, the guy who probably taught me more about commitment/relationship-phobia than I ever knew myself, and exposed me to the ugly face of this has actually helped. I told him how much it freaked me out that I am now starting to sound like him. :) Most people wouldn't take that too kindly. Luckily m understands. And presents a great case in favour of letting go. Coming from him, i might even buy it. But it is left to me to finally make the leap.