I've had a rough day- just brain-dead from all of it. Analysing my data, setting up new experiments "verry verry carefully taking extra care not to mess up" and arguing with the bossman. Nothing personal to the arguments, but just underlined to me, once again, some very fundamentally different schools of thought. I wish my lab mates were more vocal- at least contribute to the argument- but they are all just bloody yes-men. That irritates me more. They are all hard-working, meticulous scientists, but don't really care about discussions. They just sit there, putting on a face of irritation at the amount of time the meeting is taking.
I decided to go to the gym in the evening...after mustering up all the willpower etc.-reach the gym only to remember that I forgot my id and they won't let me in. Csme home and am sitting here, drinking a beer instead. :/ I badly feel like going and kicking a wall or something but don't want rectangle toe problem.
I am meeting more non-science people now more than ever. 6 years in grad school and everyone around you was in the same boat, and my year in Philly didn't see me socialize beyond work-folks. I am enjoying meeting all these different people now..but its always weird in the beginning- people ask me what I do, and I say "I'm a scientist" and then have to deal with raised eyebrows and oohs and undeserved awe. Someone even once said "Oooh I've never met a scientist before"- making me feel like I had to stand up and show that I have two legs and hands- 5 digits per limb, like anyone else. I have not figured the best reaction to this- trying to tell them that its no big deal and that there are 300 other struggling souls like me in my university alone won't help..it just looks like I'm "being modest" and that's even worse. I mostly just undergo a minute of cringing while I wait for the oohs to pass over. Or sometimes i just quietly say, "Yeah, its cool, I love what I do". Finally I decided to use this to my advantage- on some days that I don't feel like getting out of bed and to the lab, I repeat these reactions in my head- tell myself I am so coool and manage to eke out a semi-productive day.
I spend several days in a row without any interpersonal interaction. I hate that. Am trying to buddy up to random hallway folks but its not going too far. Now I'm going to try my neighbours. They seem like a cool couple. The security guard knows me by face though, and she always smiles at me, and asked me the other day why I was taking the elevator (this was during my bad-knee days) since she has noticed that I always take the stairs. :) See- its just simple stuff like that - but I thrive on such interactions. Also, one of the random smile-in-the-hallway people noticed I got my haircut and commented on it. Stuff like that makes me happy.
I think I'm going to go on a cleaning spree now..dishes..laundry..and that will pep me up some.
Also my new deterrent for shopping is the reminder that one day, in the near future, I will be packing all my stuff in 2 bags, each not to weigh more than 23 kg, and one small cabin bag. Is this going to make it? Is it worth it otherwise? That solves all problems. I am "discovering" new clothes now stashed away in my boxes that I might as well wear.