Friday, September 04, 2009

W O M M

Its so cool- autocomplete on safari automatically enters the titles of my W.O.M.M. posts. heh :)

There's a lot going on in my head that I need to sort through, dwell on, act on or throw out without a second thought. Such a mish mash.

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Its time for a stay-at-home weekend now. I have been running out the door for the past several fridays now, and today I am just dragging my ass, not wanting to leave. Its time to clean up, sit back, relax with a cup of chai and just take my time mulling over stuff or reading a book or whatever I feel like doing.

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Last evening, my mom had her mangalsutra snatched by some thug on a scooter when she was walking on the street near their place in hyd. There were 2 other people on the road when it happened, but nobody could do much of it while the bastards took off on their scooter. She lodged a police complaint and apparently the police were very polite and courteous and forthcoming. But I don't think there are any hopes that the chain can be retrieved. My poor mom. :(.

I can't even begin to imagine the sense of violation and insecurity my mom must be going through. These days, most everything can be written off with a "Yeah, its commonplace, hota hai, kya karen.." Petty thefts? hota hai.... Broken relationships? hota hai... Family crisis? hota hai....But its not the same for the person directly affected by it, and in turn, for those close to that person. That is why responses like that irritate the shit out of me. Of course sab kuch hota hai, but I wouldn't be talking about it if I weren't affected by it. So if you don't have anything better to say then take your smug hota hai shit and stuff it.

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Why do I want to get married? I am trying to answer that question. Why does anyone ever want to get married? Yeah, beyond the sex-benefits and dishwasher/driver benefits, and sperm-donor with desirable qualities type benefits. Hmm.. may be I should've asked my self this question before I created a profile of myself on hindiwordformarriage-dot-com. But back then, I guess I was also only thinking about the sex/dishwasher/driver/sperm-donor issues myself. :p

Then if I think really hard I come with the very miss-world-esque "I've met someone and I'm ready for this next stage and want to be married..etc." kind of answer- that a small part of me is still not buying completely. What do I mean by "Ready for it"? Why does one have to be "ready"?

I guess all these years of marriage-is-not-important/necessary/the-be-all conditioning is not going to be easy to erase.

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ROFL Conversation between my niece Kavita and her friend Nick we bumped into

Nick: Hey Kavita where are you off to
Kavita: We're taking her (pointing to me) to the train station
Nick: Is that your Grandma?

What the EFF? Stupid kid whose parents must be in denial and won't get his eyes examined, is what I think.
Stupid Nick.

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There's always going to be people better than you, who have achieved much more than you. There's no end to it. There are also as many people who haven't done as well you. Why would you refuse to compare yourself to the latter group and always give in to comparisons to the former, and feel bad about yourself? A much healthier attitude would be to recognize your strengths and weaknesses for what they are, applaud your own capabilities and set your own goals. Easier said than done, I guess.

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Can someone please point me to some happy R2I blogs? I want to see examples of people that have gone back to India, gotten over the initial readjustment phase and are happy to be back.
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15 comments:

La vida Loca said...

omg!! poor mom!!

I wish I could say something about the marriage bit, but they all seem like good reasons to get married. And also reasons not to get married. One really doesnt have to be married at all. Although It is nice to come home to someone, someone to cuddle with,to be goofy with and so on.

Ludwig said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ludwig said...

OK. I've posted and deleted comment, because of sudden privacy paranoia. But emailed it to your profile email address. Peruse and enjoy.

Prasoon said...

snatch and run - hyderabad - well, rare but not uncommon in any city in India. am sure your mom is not very scared about it. the 'hota hai, kya karein' - i wish there was a remedy to this thinking bcoz of all that you've listed, nothing belongs the class that can be just left alone and forgotten. a scar always remains for any incident i.e.

figure out the answer to 'why you want to get married' rather soon because otherwise, gharwaale agar peeche pad gaye, you won't have a place to run :)

Deeps said...

I'd suggest

http://chitra-aiyer.com/blog/

Chitra is an R2I, lately her posts haven't been on R2I as such, so I am guessing that she's adjusted :-D.

And sorry about your mom, hope she has recovered her courage and will recover her mangalasutra too..

Sakshi said...

Why do you want to get married?
Because as a susheel, sabhya bhartiya nari it is your duty to get married, do pati seva and produce a brood of children. No?

Ok, how about - baki sab kar liya, ab yeh bhi karke dekh le?

I honestly dont know if there is a good reason why people get married except that its a "done" thing. So dont analyze, sit back and enjoy the ride!


(And I like Nick. LOL)

JustSo said...

u must have heard the "kalyanmochhnina kakku vachchinaa...." thingy.

why get married, well I am married and still wonder about it. I dont really think marriage is essential - we say marriage stands for togetherness, commitment, love nearness and all that, if that is the case, then the essential things would be the ones stated and not marriage which is a means to get all of it. so if you have found another means achieve what marriage sets out to achive, well, thats good :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Thanks for all those links and pointers to happy R2I blogs, Ludwig, I got yours too.

And also, thanks for your comments on marriage. I still have to find my reasons

Pri said...

omfg! you're gonna become one of those mommy bloggers aren't you? i swear to god if you do i will unblogroll you faster than you can say 'munna'.

Pri said...

also if you have to get married do it for filmi reasons like to shock your community like by marrying a sindhi or something fun! do it. i dare you!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

pri
you need to follow my blog more closely. its not going to be munna, its going to be tinnu.

Sujatha said...

terristurf.blogspot.com

choxbox.blogspot.com

neoindian.org

Don't know if it's the perspective you want, but they have a perspective all right! :)

tgfi said...

thanks, neoindian is hilarious! :)

Snowbeak said...

Marriage? Because the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

thats a really good answer.