Tuesday, November 03, 2009

work woes

So the other day I had an epiphany of sorts in the middle of the night and woke up and wrote a long rambling email about it to my boss- explaining how I thought one of the basic ideas in my project was flawed. Thankfully I didn't send it, because it wouldn't make any sense. Instead I haunted his office all day and as soon as he made an entry I burst out with my fears.

Turns out I had very good reason to be concerned. But the boss said that this was one of the limitations of our set up and its kind of the un-written assumption that everyone operates on for lack of anything better. It was like having that parent-child talk of "we have to make do with what we can get". Sigh.

Then yesterday I stormed into his office once more and went into rant mode- about how I thought I was chasing a unicorn or pot of gold or whatever metaphor u want to use for something that probably exists in only our fantasies. Again he gave me a patient listen, had another talk that almost sounded like a shrink session to me, and suggested that I explore other projects if I wanted, but not to give up on this yet. And admitted that yes, it was hard, and harder than it seemed.

I am not against doing difficult things- heck - that is where the challenge lies. However, I have been a bit burned by my previous post-doc and clearly a lot more cautious now- about trusting boss people who do not have your interests in mind, about chasing pet theories of others, and, above all, about wasting precious time without a back-up or more feasible project running simultaneously. And the worst part is, I began this project thinking it was reasonably straightforward- and that is why it is more frustrating that this is not moving forward. This was the easy-peesy project I had in mind- the other "Back up" is actually harder!

So I have decided to give this two more weeks. Step it up, test the hypothesis on several candidates at once, and see if even one emerges as a promising candidate. In two weeks, if I have spent all my time and not gotten a single lead, I am going to start pushing this on to the back burner and move on to the other project, which also I need to step up.

The good part is, at least, my boss is receptive to my concerns, respects my professional opinion, and is not entirely bereft interest in my well-being. Thats the only good thing I could glean from all of this.

Sigh. Onward and upward.

5 comments:

Mr. K Bodhi said...

Two post docs? Wow. You have made some bad career decisions.

You experimental physicist or biologist?

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Heh. aren't you the dude who has not yet graduated? Wow, i forget how naive they are.

Mr. K Bodhi said...

Defending on Dec 4. Try stopping me:)

Seriously. I know only exp physicist do two post docs. Are you one?

Ms Taggart said...

Really.. I have begun to think that the relationship with the boss is one of the important relationships in one's life...

ferret said...

haha totally agree with Ms Taggart