Monday, March 29, 2010

The weekend that was

was wonderful! Spent it with S: my close friend from grad school and her family. Totally enjoyed the warmth and hospitality, fun and jokes and very hearty meals. Meeting S's parents made it so clear why S is such a great person, and why I am so glad to have a friend like her. Oh, I also got to sleep on a water bed for the first time and that was such fun!

Was also the about perfect time for a break. Was nice to be offline all weekend long. It was nice to go away, and I am happy to be home, now. The my shower, my couch, my bed thing.

Is it possible to respect someone's choices when you don't believe in them? Some things are hard to explain. Where do you start? Do you start making your point, or do you start trying to remind people that it's entirely within reason for two people to have very different stands on the same subject and let it be? Or do you step back and decide that you don't owe anyone any explanations, hence tell them politely to eff off? I've learned that the easiest/nicest way out of it all is the nod and smile policy. :)

You know its time to stop asking some people for advice when they begin doling out unsolicited advice.

Read through more of Henrietta Lacks' story. There are points in the book that make you want to shut the book and walk away from it all. Because it hits so close to home that is biomedical research. The story stays with me for hours after I've read it: it almost numbs my reaction to everything else around, as the story lingers on in my head and has me looking at everything else with a very different perspective.

Sometimes, when I am having a really great time- I miss B, but more than missing him, what brings me down is thinking of what he's missing, and how much he must be missing all of it. And how he must've made his peace with it, to whatever extent he has. It can't be easy. :/

7 comments:

runa said...

So true about 'The smile & nod policy'. However, it really comes back to gnaw when the other party is someone who is extremely close. In such cases, the conversation/argument is hardly a detached one and there are chances that the inclination to shake them hard causes the argument to stretch to mind numbing levels. Umm.. or maybe its just me relating to a much repeated situation from the recent past.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:) "inclination to shake them hard"...(while i suspect, the other person is feeling the same). why?

to each his/her own i think, why do we have this overwhelming need to make our point to another when they clearly don't think the same? And even worse, in an overbearing and rude fashion? being close to one shouldn't be a license to being obnoxious, i think

Abhishek said...

"nod and smile".I like that :)

Its always easiest to get out of the way, me thinks.Any attempt to change pre-conceived deep seated notions causes distress for both parties.

Like they say, if you love something, set it free :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Abhishekh,
yeah. path of least resistance....

runa said...

Naah I guess its more to do with me and a situation that I am currently trying to sort out. In my case the argument stretched more due to the theory-based assumptions of one and 'been-there-done-that-please widen-your-horizons-to-read-between-the-lines' of the other. Here you really wish that the other person does not have to go through a bad situation to fully understand the implications of their stand, because you care from them and don't want them to get hurt. More like the way parents keep hammering facts at times and only later we realise that they were right. I agree with the being close+obnoxious thing and thats what prevents the 'shaking hard' to actually happen, yet the itch stays on when you see them going towards a potential disaster. phew! sorry for flooding up.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

yes i can imagine a scenario that you describe...true..there is some urge to shake up the person at risk..but i guess we eventually let go and let people learn from their experiences -and give them the credit for atleast being able to do that, even if they lack the wisdom we've gained from experience, right?

i have been in this boat too...have also "shaken hard" but only in my mind :)

runa said...

wahi toh. head says.. 'let go', mind says 'try once again'. eventually we end up shaken up ourselves with a 'bhaad mein jao yaar'.