The weekend has been rather blah. The rain did its bit in being a general mood-downer. Went to a friend's kid's 1st year birthday party and felt very out of place and bored. I am not one to stick to myself- I do my bit to mingle with groups of strangers- but this time I just didn't feel like it. Thank god for the beer.
Whenever I have a kid, I do not want to celebrate the kid's first birthday in a restaurant with tons of people and a theme cake and an almost mini-wedding-scale extravaganza. I think it is extremely impersonal. I do not want to be the stressed out host- planning for the event for days together and putting my kid through three dress-changes. Most of all, I do not want to waste that kind of money. My idea of a fun party is one which I get to enjoy too. :)
Also went to a memorial service for my coworker's mother who passed away a few days ago. It was my first such experience in the US. The mood was far from serious and somber. There were a lot of people- dressed up, sitting about and chatting, even laughing aloud. Pink Floyd and REM were playing in the background. My coworker was greeting people that had come and had a brave face on all the time. A very different experience.
Dealing with someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy. I have learned over the years that it is important to just be there for them- thats all that counts. Showing up or calling them/emailing them and letting them know that you are there and wish them strength. The few standard words- that seem very insufficient - "I am sorry for your loss- let me know if I can help out"- are all it takes. It is worth even rehearsing those lines in your head if you are afraid of feeling uncomfortable when you face them- but it is important to face them and not let the awkwardness take over and hide behind it. For them- the mere show of support counts.
B and I are going through rough times- he more than me- and it has turned out that every phone call between us constitutes one person venting/whining and the other one being the supportive listener/cheerleader. But I am getting tired of it. It brings me down and makes me question all of this all over again. It's a never-ending loop. I think we need to take our rants elsewhere- give ourselves a break from this stuff and try to find happy stuff to discuss about, even if that seems impossible.
Question of the day from my 4 year old niece "TGFI-pinni, what is a chemical?". How do you explain that to a 4 yo?
The good stuff: the wedding is looming closer! Yay! I am definitely excited- also a bit apprehensive. I really don't enjoy being the center of attention and am not sure how I will deal with all the fussing. I have been told to enjoy it, and I'm going to try to. But it's exciting enough to think of all the relatives getting together, meeting our respective extended families- and in general- the enormity of the occasion is beginning to sink in. I am enjoying being asked about the wedding, and find myself wondering how I am going to get on the flight back to the US after it is all done.
I am becoming one of those people who can't keep up with their email. Scary.
I had said I wouldn't be one of those girls fretting about losing weight for their wedding and I am doing exactly that. Mainly because saris are a bitch when it comes to camouflaging the beer belly- my mom has finally given up and said exasperatedly- "you got it from your aunts" (blame shifting on my fathers' sisters. :) heh. ) I read somewhere that discipline is the first step to getting into shape. I am going to give that discipline thing a shot now.