Sunday, April 25, 2010

W O M M

The weekend has been rather blah. The rain did its bit in being a general mood-downer. Went to a friend's kid's 1st year birthday party and felt very out of place and bored. I am not one to stick to myself- I do my bit to mingle with groups of strangers- but this time I just didn't feel like it. Thank god for the beer.

Whenever I have a kid, I do not want to celebrate the kid's first birthday in a restaurant with tons of people and a theme cake and an almost mini-wedding-scale extravaganza. I think it is extremely impersonal. I do not want to be the stressed out host- planning for the event for days together and putting my kid through three dress-changes. Most of all, I do not want to waste that kind of money. My idea of a fun party is one which I get to enjoy too. :)

Also went to a memorial service for my coworker's mother who passed away a few days ago. It was my first such experience in the US. The mood was far from serious and somber. There were a lot of people- dressed up, sitting about and chatting, even laughing aloud. Pink Floyd and REM were playing in the background. My coworker was greeting people that had come and had a brave face on all the time. A very different experience.

Dealing with someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy. I have learned over the years that it is important to just be there for them- thats all that counts. Showing up or calling them/emailing them and letting them know that you are there and wish them strength. The few standard words- that seem very insufficient - "I am sorry for your loss- let me know if I can help out"- are all it takes. It is worth even rehearsing those lines in your head if you are afraid of feeling uncomfortable when you face them- but it is important to face them and not let the awkwardness take over and hide behind it. For them- the mere show of support counts.

B and I are going through rough times- he more than me- and it has turned out that every phone call between us constitutes one person venting/whining and the other one being the supportive listener/cheerleader. But I am getting tired of it. It brings me down and makes me question all of this all over again. It's a never-ending loop. I think we need to take our rants elsewhere- give ourselves a break from this stuff and try to find happy stuff to discuss about, even if that seems impossible.

Question of the day from my 4 year old niece "TGFI-pinni, what is a chemical?". How do you explain that to a 4 yo?

The good stuff: the wedding is looming closer! Yay! I am definitely excited- also a bit apprehensive. I really don't enjoy being the center of attention and am not sure how I will deal with all the fussing. I have been told to enjoy it, and I'm going to try to. But it's exciting enough to think of all the relatives getting together, meeting our respective extended families- and in general- the enormity of the occasion is beginning to sink in. I am enjoying being asked about the wedding, and find myself wondering how I am going to get on the flight back to the US after it is all done.

I am becoming one of those people who can't keep up with their email. Scary.

I had said I wouldn't be one of those girls fretting about losing weight for their wedding and I am doing exactly that. Mainly because saris are a bitch when it comes to camouflaging the beer belly- my mom has finally given up and said exasperatedly- "you got it from your aunts" (blame shifting on my fathers' sisters. :) heh. ) I read somewhere that discipline is the first step to getting into shape. I am going to give that discipline thing a shot now.

2 comments:

Drenched said...

Chemical = stuff studied by people with kam akal. It's okay to kill a 4 year old's potential interest in Chemistry. She can always study bacteria.

Also, stop fretting about weight loss. Whosoever is going to tie your shaadi sarees, tell the person to tie in such a way that your beer belly looks sexy. Or to do it yourself, get the belly button pierced. :P And if anyone who passes snide remarks about plumpness, say you are "zaftig" (which means "alluringly plump") and walk off with nose in air. That'll show them! :D

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

look who's here.

As for the beer belly: I'm going to say with a coy and bashful smile "B says there's more of me to love". what do you think?