Tuesday, April 06, 2010


On life's struggles: People struggle in all kinds of ways. In many ways every now and then I am reminded of how I had it relatively easy in life. Indeed, it's all relative and there's always two ends of the scale, no matter where you are standing. Also, not everyone likes to expound on their struggles. I have seen that the harder, more serious the struggles, the less likely you are to hear about them. And every person you encounter is in that moment the sum of his struggles and the person it has made him into. There is no way for us to fathom that. We see what we see: a fidgety person, a loud person, a stingy person. Most of the time we will never have a complete grasp of what lies beneath: even at the times we think we do.

I always bitched about people judging others. I have come to realise its quite human. I do it too, whether I realise it or not, whether I admit it or not. And its not ok just because of that, but I hope I can draw the line between forming opinions, aware of the scanty evidence on the basis of which I form them and labeling people without leaving room for error and, even worse, conveying those possibly wrong opinions about a person to other people.

Early in the days I was "getting to know" B, I broached the idea of gift registries. In a very casual way, I asked "I am writing a post on my blog about gift registries-what do you think of them?". And to my shock and horror, the dude said he was totally in favour of them. It was a worse moment of reckoning than the time he told me he's crazy about dogs and hopes to have one. What was I to do? This guy likes gift registries! Should I go ahead??? :)

Anyways, clearly I managed to see past that argument :p , but I put my foot down against having one for our wedding now. I threw that gchat archive in his face, telling him that he knew this about me all along and he had his chance. Hah! What would I do without gtalk archives? I said he could, by all means have one of his own, but I was not going to participate.

Now, I am telling our close friends that ask what we'd like as gifts. B calls me a hypocrite. I think there's a huge difference. It's really close friends who ask and I totally enjoy that feeling. A list of possible gifts from various stores put together and sent to all and sundry, in my opinion, is way too impersonal and quite different from this, I think. Sigh. I can see another long endless argument here.


Ni said...

The things about being judgmental has been doing rounds in my head too. I agree we cant avoid judging, its almost an automatic process but we can and and should be careful about not relying too much on it. But then again what else do we rely on. There, round and round:)

And I totally am with you on the gift matter as well, of course there is a difference. Same difference may be. :P

Did I congratulate you! CONGRATULATIONS. :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

@ Ni
hmph at same difference. it is not!

you actually did congratulate, I remember. but thanks, again :)

Gradwolf said...

did you notice two humble souls that started following you yest on twitter?

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

mmhmm I did. :) Sorry to disappoint, but I am not really into twitter.

Gradwolf said...

Know that. It was just an exercise in pattern matching.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

pretty impressive, your skills at pattern matching. :)