Sunday, August 22, 2010

"Checking in"

I'm checking into the blog since it's been a while; and to reiterate that I am really glad for this blog- for bringing to me friendships I'd never had made otherwise- people that will treat me to a yummy lunch to celebrate my newly married status- and people who will teach me what the real meaning of "Checking in" means. I have so much to learn and catch up. :)

How is married life treating me? For most its the same, but the one thing that is clearly different is that it has made this long-distance a lot tougher than earlier. And I don't know if its the marriage per se or just the prolonged duration that I find myself more and more desperate and helpless in this LDR. Counting down the hours in the day so I can talk to B. Waking up grumpy. Living alone was never new to me- but now it has suddenly adopted sad tunes. It takes me a lot more to remind myself of why I chose to do this. I think it has also got to do with the fact that work hasn't yielded much encouragement. And at the end of it all, I find myself hating what I have become- whiny and sad and wishing things were different.

But enough whining. The weekend was nice because I got some work done, did a lot of phone-catch-up with close friends / family and the aforementioned yummy lunch and nice conversation. I have also come up with a strategy of sorts to help me through this slump. I will focus on being happy, reaching out to friends, and keeping up the cheer because I do not want to become this whiny person, begin resenting our decisions, my position and transfer all this negativity to our relationship and my work. I owe it to me to be happy and stay aboard the negativity.

The bottom line is, I spent a lot of time in search of so called Mr right, and am happy to have this person in my life. Thankful for the fact that between us, we share a level of maturity and understanding that will see us through all of this and more. Happy that I'm with a guy who's extremely perceptive to my needs and feelings and gives me little to complain about. Happy that, minus the LDR part, this relationship is just the way I'd have it.

I also have precious little time left if I keep the big picture in mind, and so much to accomplish, that there really shouldn't be time for sulking. I need to MAKE the damned experiments work, find a job in India, finish my USA-to-do list and make it all worth it at the end of the day.

My latest hobby is watching bollywood movies. Thanks to pirated DVDS that cost $2.00. Apologies to all my film-making friends out there- you probably won't approve. But please to forgive in the name of poor-post-doc-life. But I saw Rajneeti, which I liked, City of Gold which was also really good. I love Sachin Khedekar, have always loved him since his teleserial days. City of Gold taught me a lot about my city that I had very cursory knowledge of. The movie was pretty dark but very well made and educative for me. And I saw Hangman, which was alright-well made in parts-over done in parts- and very sad. Thankfully I saw a version in which hindi dialogues were dubbed over the english soundtrack. At many points in the movie I found myself wondering if that was actually English I saw the actors mouthing, and later, upon reading reviews online found out that the movie was actually shot in English. Weird! Next on the list are Rann, Apartment and Red Alert.

Currently I am O.D-ing on Tum Jo Aaye and Pee Loon soundtracks from Once Upon A Time in Mumbai playing on the loop..

3 comments:

ferret said...

yea blogs are good, aren't they. and i still keep ignoring mine! must stop doing that.

Kits said...

LDR is one of the most difficult things to do I think in life - hang in there and it gng to happen :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

Ferret
you must stop

Kits
yes, thanks for the cheer-on. :)