Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Mess-magnet

I think I am drawn to mess. Messy house, messy desk. And this urge to set straight people that are messed up. I don't know where it stems from. I am beginning to wonder if its healthy- this innate need/desire to voluntarily counsel and reach out to complicated people. Of course, all people are complicated. But I seem to have some knack for bringing it out in some people, and then wanting to help them sort it out. God knows I'm not even qualified for it. Why do I do it?

How much can one really help another adult who is fully capable and needs to be responsible for their own decisions? Does talking, gentle nudging, tough love, help in these cases?

All I know is that I never got through challenges all by myself- I had my cheerleaders- friends who cooked for me, who gave me wake up calls, who yelled at me, who pushed me, who told me as it was, who nagged me on gtalk...and thats how the qualifying exams were passed, the thesis was written, the crappy relationship was ended.

So when I see people who are less fortunate than I am in terms of a support system, I want to do my bit. But this time I am utterly unconvinced if I am doing any help and worried about another person's problems consuming me when I have my own plate pretty full.

I guess the bottom line is that I should help so long as I can afford to, so long as I don't let it bring me down.

4 comments:

la vida loca said...

you have a mentor/mother complex. Like me. Although I dont have it any more. Whenever I feel the urge to help I actually wait, take deep breaths and see.

Anonymous said...

Just what I need in my life now. Someone to get my dysfunctional arse working......to nag me, to yell at me.
A

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

lvv,
Gah, atleast i'm not the only one.

Anony/A,

STOP READING BLOGS AND GO DO YOUR STUFF!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you!!! You know what I am going to do that!! Write until 4p.m ...No reading blogs.
A