"You'll be warm tonight" he said. And how thankful I was for him. For the fact that he came home late evening, while I was cooking, and spent 30 minutes..fixing my heat. Right now, the super is my favourite man..and indeed, thanks to him, I have heat! In this pre-war building that I live in, the heaters are ancient and while the management is busy getting the building beautified, upgrading these radiators is nowhere on their list. For the past few days I was wearing three layers at home, sleeping under two comforters and having a really tough time waking up. Everyday I dragged myself out of bed with weird body aches and went in late to work and still groggy. I blamed it all on over-sleeping. :) Coming home late at night after work and crashing, I was never in my apartment long enough to realise that my heat wasn't working. After a lot of self-beating over my inability to get up early, I realised that I was basically not getting any heat. It is fixed now, and what a world of difference it makes. :)
Yesterday I stepped out of the building to snow flurries that I wasn't expecting at all. It was pretty and cheered me up despite the cold - it was a good thing I was dressed well so I could enjoy the walk home. The winter, with its all its nastiness, can be pretty after all, especially when you have heat in your apartment. :)
Some people are very very resistant to help, I have realised, and that is probably the single most thing that brings them down. I used to be one of those people that found it very difficult to ask for help. I have gotten a lot better now- both professionally and personally. Professionally, it was thanks to PhDAdvisor's goading- she recognized that this was my weak point- and always chided me for spending too long trying to figure something out on my own before I stuck my head out and asked for help, and reminded me of the importance of time, and the smartness in asking for help. Personally, I have paid my price for struggling alone, not wanting to take help, only to realise my foolishness later. I have learned, finally, that help is just that- its a push. Eventually, you have to do the work, and you get to enjoy the results.
I don't know how to make others see the wisdom in this though- people who are struggling with their failings- feeling demotivated- stuck in a rut that I so very well recognize- and the only way to break out of it is to get some outside help and take baby steps. But so long as they resist it- wanting to do everything on their own - too ashamed or proud to get help- they only get further stuck in the vicious cycle. Its scary to see others fight similar battles that you fought and not be able to do much about it.
I am doing some mindless stuff at work these days. Working through a huge batch of samples in 3-day cycles. So every third day I am pretty much doing the same thing. I have never worked in such a monotonous mechanical fashion before. It is interesting. It is boring in some ways, but the challenge is in replicating the protocol "exactly" the same way on each of the sixty samples. I am enjoying the challenge in that, and pretending that I'm a robot. :)
The last 2 episodes of The Office (last of this season) sucked big time. Why is a comedy getting all mushy and preachy? It's bo-ring.
I am starting to put-together R2I lists. R2I-lab-list is a list of all the lab stuff I want to take back with me- protocols, tweaks in protocols, scripts, literature, notes from seminars, data slides, etc. R2I-personal-list is the list of stuff I own and want to take back with me. There isn't much in this list- unlike families that have lived here and R2I-ed, I don't have boxes of crockery and artifacts that I want to take back. Between B and me, we have a large collection of books, quirky coffee mugs and some street-art that I collected while living here. Then there is some stuff I want to take back as memorabilia. Bare minimum. Then I have a whole load of clothes that I don't even want to think about sorting through. I had earlier thought of a R2I-shopping list- things to shop for to take back with me (Backpacks, camp gear, DVD sets of our favourite sitcoms), but now I realise that I don't have the money to buy any additional stuff, and really, cannot think of what I would need to buy from here.
Recent R2I's - what did you take back with you?