Saturday, March 26, 2011
Don't say yes when you want to say no
A rant about people who cannot say no. I wish people just learned to say "Sorry, I cannot do it" (Followed by a reason if they feel like it). Period. I don't understand why, instead of saying no, they go about giving me hazaar alternatives, that I've already thought through, considered, and then come to them asking for a favour. I ask for favours easily- mostly because I believe that if it truly inconveniences a person they will say no, else they will help me out. I know people who balk at the idea of taking any obligation from other people- I don't take my friends for granted but don't see anything wrong in asking them- "hey- can you ask around for me if ..blah blah". And I am prepared to be refused, no hard feelings. But I'm beginning to see why people, including my husband, would rather have it not done than ask for a favour- its because some people make it out to be so damn uncomfortable. They cannot refuse directly, they offer further unsolicited advice that can be tiresome, or worse still, they say yes but back out in the last minute or ignore your phone calls or do it almost begrudgingly, making you feel like you are putting them through an inconvenience. Why the fuck does everything have to be a charade? I have reached a point where I'd rather ask random people off a forum or mailing list for help- at least they can refuse without qualms and self-imposed obligations and truly just do it out of simple kindness and not because they feel obliged to say yes.