Wednesday, May 18, 2011


I was supposed to be working on a presentation but got distracted and bored and began wasting time on Facebook. That's when I found out about a colleague's death, less than a week ago. A colleague from my grad school days, who, when I bumped into a month ago was very affectionate and it felt so nice catching up with him. Now he's gone. It's really hard to digest news like this. You begin wondering about all kinds of things....and I haven't been able to focus since then. I spoke to a common friend and that helped. But I still can't get it out of my head. The finality of death leaves you so unsettled. :(

But I do need to shake myself up and get this powerpoint in order. My boss sent out an email announcing my talk with " "blah-blah-topic - TGFI: A superb speaker". That's his way of upping the pressure - and I'm definitely feeling the heat. Probably what is also paralyzing me now.

My parents left a couple days ago and I miss them. Miss being able to talk to them at random points in my day, even when I had nothing new to talk about. Miss looking forward to the weekend with all of us together. But we had a splendid time and I am so glad they made this trip. I also remember feeling a bit tired about having to go down to my sister's every weekend to spend time with them, leaving me with no time/space to myself. And feeling terribly guilty about feeling like that. But I guess its all natural. I have become very possessive about my me-time and it makes me cranky and tired when I don't get any.

I finally completed a task at work today- that should have gone out last week. A week's delay at this stage is much more than I can afford. But what to do? I did my very best- things were just slow...and then some errors made it worse. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the statistician who is going to analyze my data magically finishes it sooner than she said she would.

I am looking forward to a trip to Philly this weekend- something that I had not at all planned. I thought I didn't have much emotional attachment to the city, mainly because of all the things that went wrong when I was there, but I do have some fond memories, that I am excited about revisiting. And while I first thought of just one person I wanted to meet, I am now debating if I should meet another. :) Lets see. I hope the weather behaves.

OK, back to work. 


ferret said...

Can i request a non-womm post pls (no pressure! :)
Agree, it's none of my business what you choose to write here,, but i miss those topical posts from you.

binaryfootprints said...

Oh I so understand the me time idea. There have been plenty of times when I would feel obligated to talk, yet not want to talk, guilt and irritation at the same time. gah!
Hope your presentation goes well.

TGFI said...

guilty as charged. :/ I think i've forgotten how to compose a proper post. This blog has just become a place to dump my mind out every once a while.
But thanks for the note..I'll try and do something about it. :)


The talk went well, thanks. Exactly that- irritation and guilt in the same moment- most annoying!