Friday, May 27, 2011

What would you do if you were person B

Person A is higher in authority to you. The terms on which you part with person A are therefore important for the next steps in your career, such as good reference letters etc, and for most part you have had a decent working relationship with them. But now, all of a sudden, they refuse to see reason or accept your point of view and make your daily life miserable by using all possible tactics - emotional blackmail, snide remarks, subtle pressure- to arm-twist you into going against your decision and choosing the stand that makes them happy?

All of this when, at some point, you would've actually taken that same stand if you felt compelled enough, but haven't made that decision yet and now don't want to be arm-wrangled into it.

Will you

1) Try and push your point and make unemotional strong arguments to make your case?

2) Give up without a fight and give in?

3) Do not fight/argue because it already seems like a lost cause but silently achieve your stand, risking some amount of bridge-burning etc.

4) Do not fight and make things unpleasant, but become superman/woman and keep everyone happy in the equation. (HAH).

There is no middle ground. its A's way or B's way.


Badri said...

It might sound frustrating. But if A is really a person he/she claims to be, option 1 should be done. Or atleast let them know your displeasure if things go in A's way.

I am in a similar situation, but not at this level of magnitude. From my experience option 1 should be good. Also be careful in taking random advice from strangers.

muddled grad student said...

I am in a situation where it sounds the same. I chose to go with one but the success is very limited and it seems to me that it will end up in option 3. sigh...

Hope it works out for you.

TGFI said...

Thanks for your comments. For now I have opted for 5) come home and drink everyday. :p

ferret said...

LOL at the 5th option :D

Isn't this conflict arising because B hasn't yet made a final decision, and there still are conflicts within for what is the best thing to do. And in such case i guess i would prefer option 3. You're silent, giving yourself time to come to a conclusion, not sounding fickle-minded by voicing arguements in favour of something you're not decided about yet.
If on the other hand, B is sure of her decision, then option 1 would be my approach.